Divergent: Four's POV

Chapter 25

I move my hands to her shoulders and push her jacket off of her and it hits the floor. She stiffens and pushes me away. She covers her face with her hands.

"What? What's wrong?" I ask her confused and a little hurt.

She shakes her head.

"Don't tell me it's nothing." I say callously. She is hiding something from me. I can feel hurt and a ting of anger building up in me. I grab her arm. "Hey. Look at me."

She takes her hands from her face and looks up at me.

"Sometimes I wonder," she says, trying to stay calm, "what's in it for you. This...whatever it is."

"What's in it for me," I say. What is that supposed to mean? And where is this coming from? I step back from her and shake my head. "You're an idiot, Tris." I say, the hurt and anger building even more.

"I am notan idiot," she says. "Which is why I know that it's a little weird that, of all the girls you could have chosen, you chose me. So if you're just looking for...um, you know...that..."

"What? Sex?" I growl at her. I can't believe this. How could she think that? "You know, if that was all I wanted, you probably wouldn't be the first person I would go to." I know that didn't come out the way I wanted it to, but how can she think that is all I want from her. She is beautiful and brilliant, she isn't that kind of girl, I know it. I have known it from the moment that I met her. Besides, I don't want that kind of girl.

She moves her hands, blinks away her tears, and looks up at me, hurt. I didn't mean to hurt her with my words. "I'm going to leave now," she says, barely audible.

"No, Tris," I say. I grab her wrist and pull her back to me. She tries to pull away but I take her other wrist, and our arms are crossed. She is not going to leave until we work this out. I can't have her thinking that I'm just some guy trying to get her to do something that she isn't ready for.

"I'm sorry I said that," I say. "What I meant was that you aren't like that. Which I knew when I met you."

"You were an obstacle in my fear landscape." Her lip trembles and her voice shudders. "Did you know that?"

"What?" I step back from her, I feel like someone has just ripped my heart from my chest. "You're afraid of me?" My stomach churns.

"Not you," she says, still fighting tears. What have I done to make her afraid of me? Have I been too forthcoming with my feelings? "Being with you...with anyone. I've never been involved with someone before, and...you're older, and I don't know what your expectations are, and..."

"Tris," I say, my voice soft and calm, "I don't know what delusion you're operating under, but this is all new to me, too." We have never talked about this. The past couple days have gone by in a whirlwind and we have never talked about any of this.

"Delusion?" She asks. "You mean you haven't..." she looks at me shocked. She thought I have been with other people. I feel uncomfortable as she looks at me. "Oh. Oh. I just assumed..." Her voice cuts off. "Um. You know."

"Well, you assumed wrong." I look down feeling embarrassed. She's the first girl that I have ever had a relationship with like this before. I've never been interested in anyone until I met her. "You can tell me anything, you know," I say. I move closer to her and I touch her face. "I am kinder than I seemed in training. I promise."

I kiss between her eyebrows, on her nose, then move my mouth to hers, trying to kiss her as gently as I can. I feel the familiar sense of electricity pulsing through me that I feel every time I kiss her. I slide my hand over her shoulder, and I feel a bandage. I pull back and look concerned.