Nick & Jason

Chapter 1 - Nick

Nick

The rain that decided to present itself was pretty warranted; I felt the rain. It was like the universe saw what I was feeling and wanted to match my mood, thank you universe. Being sad wasn't what I felt, maybe defeated, disappointed or depressed. But disappointed in what? Myself? My phone chimed next to me on the couch, the screen flashed with a text notification and many others. This was when I would normally put my phone into "do not disturb" but I kind of wanted the disturbance.

"So, you wanted to continue the movie?"

I glanced up from my spot on this uncomfortable IKEA couch to see Jason, his hazel eyes gazing over at mine. My heart skipped too many beats for it to be okay, after the argument we just had, I didn't know if I wanted to be near him, but the fact that he was moving in two weeks made me not want to leave him.

"Yeah, sure." I tried to muster as much excitement as I could, but was it enough to convince him?

He nodded, going over to the computer, and hitting play on the monitor. The music from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban flooded the room as he took his spot next to me, leaving space between us on this tiny couch. Just the vibes, the tension of him sitting next to me made me want to cry. Or scream. I picked up my phone and scrolled through the texts, responding to them as if I didn't want to set this room on fire, they were my saving grace to calm down. One of my friends, Abby, had asked me to hang out later tonight, but my plans were to be here with him.

And I couldn't leave him, the time we had together was limited.

I looked at him, his eyes focused on the movie and then back at my phone. I think I would rather resolve this conflict than leave but leaving was easier and leaving might spark something in him to realize that maybe he was in the wrong this time and that he had hurt my feelings. The number of times we talked about his feelings, jeez, maybe we focused on mine for once. But would leaving really trigger his man mind to think that I felt any way at all? My fingers hovered over the keypad on my phone before I formulated a somewhat decent response of "Yeah, lemme text you when I'm out of here.".

"Okay, it's been like thirty minutes and you're not saying anything." Jason said, looking over at me.

Heat rose to my cheeks as I sat up, trying to look more okay. "I'm just tired," I managed to say.

Tired?

"No, you're not."

"Jason, I'm fine, let's just finish this movie." I looked back at the film, Harry was in Professor Trelawny's class, looking at Ron's cup.

"Nick," he huffed, sending chills down my back.

Tension and confrontation were not my favorite part in life. Tension and confrontation from a situationship that is now considered a friendship between us is not my favorite part in life. Why couldn't he just let things go?

"What is it?" I asked, looking over at him.

"What's up with you? I thought we talked about everything?"

A laugh burst out of me, small, but present enough for his eyes to get wide. I didn't even expect it, but maybe I was having enough of him, "We talked about everything for you maybe,"

"What do you mean?"

"For a man that is working in the field of mental health I would assume you would have a little bit more insight on how I'm feeling and maybe more of an insight to how insensitive you can be." Confidence, where did this come from? And not a tear in sight?

He sat up this time, trying to read my face, nothing. He got nothing. The movie kept on playing, making this conversation feel a bit silly with the kids in the movie yelling Riddikulus! behind our words. And to be honest, maybe it wasn't as silly as I thought since this conversation was getting quite ridiculous.