Missing The Plot! JJK x Self-insert!Sukuna

Chapter 3: Oh! It's The Fingering Episode In The Anime!

...Right, that's a problem. BUT IT'LL PROBABLY BE FINE. I mean, now is the perfect time to test it out and hopefully not destroy everything in sight. Just imagine the curse as the kid who reminded the teacher of homework.

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The special grade giggled as it was about to finish off Yuuji. Too bad the other human got away, it was almost certain it was the strongest being around, Yuuji missing a hand, the mutilated other hand and leg were a testament to its strength, yet the pressure suddenly dropped when black markings appeared all over Yuuji's face, and all his wounds healed.

"Sorry, not sorry, but you're gonna have to die for the plot." Without any time to react, the curse's arm was lopped off in an instant, along with everything else in its vicinity.

It couldn't move. It instinctively knew whatever that thing was, the curse couldn't beat it.

"Whoops! Only your arm was meant to get chopped off. But that's okay!"

"We can continue practising until I get it right! Let's first pay back what you did to this body!"

The smile was too uncanny, too cheerful, it's not human. WHAT IS THAT THING?!

It needed to run.

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Sukuna was getting tired again. In the middle of experimenting with the special grade, too! How unfair, ugh, the universe is totally against him, how come he's one of the only Sukuna that isn't allowed to control his powers?

It's not like he doesn't know how this power works; nevertheless, at least he's not unable to activate it. But those fanfics where the SIkunas can perfectly control their powers?

'吹牛!' He says! Back to the topic, he finally puts the curse out of its misery with multiple dismantles, and he doesn't destroy the floor again! As small as it is, Sukuna takes it as a win. On a different note, the purple fire is cool as fuck and would've admired it more if he wasn't about to pass out.

'At least let me eat the finger first!' Then proceeds to choke on said finger and almost dies. EUGH, that was disgusting as fuck he really needed some soda to wash it down, he would even drink that disgusting cherry flavoured Dr. Pepper... Actually, scratch that, Sukuna would much prefer this crusty ass finger over that sad excuse of a drink.

Huh... He wasn't feeling tired anymore, maybe it's cause of the finger? Awesome! Now, Sukuna can give Megumi his character development that was meant to happen. Time to lock the fuck in.

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'If you die, I'm killing you myself, Itadori!' Megumi thought it was already bad enough that a special grade appeared, and now Yuuji was gonna let Sukuna out, moreover.

"Why aren't you leaving?" He glared at Nobara, who seemed dead set on staying

"I need to make sure that potato-head doesn't do anything stupid!"

"That's what I'm staying for, you're injured, you need to leave."

"Pfft! This is nothing, even I can at least handle this much!"

"You're insufferable."

"Same to you."

The domain was gone, now all that's left is for Itadori to come out; he needs to make sure Yuuji is safe.

"Look! He's alive!" Nobara pointed out as if Megumi couldn't see, but something seemed off. Yuuji was walking weirdly, but she didn't seem to notice as she started walking angrily towards him.

"OI, POTATO-HEAD, WHAT TOOK YOU SO LONG?!" Megumi quickly pulls her back, panicked, that wasn't him. Nobara glares at Megumi for a split second, then her face twists to confusion when he starts shaking a little,

"That's not Yuuji."

"Eh?" It finally clicks as she turns to look at Yuuji walking towards them and gets into a fighting stance.

The pressure of the King of Curses is making it hard to breathe as he gets closer.

"Wow, fast to react, aren't we?" Sukuna maliciously smirked, like he was making fun of them.

"The fuck did you do to our local idiot, you bitch?!" Megumi would've appreciated her fierceness if it were in any other situation, read the room! Without even letting him answer, she fired off 2 nails at Sukuna, and Megumi had no choice but to summon Nue.

Of course, the curse effortlessly dodges as he continues to walk towards them.

"Not even gonna let me answer when you're the one who asked, rude much?" He says, dodging another pair of nails as Megumi runs in for close combat, throwing a punch at the curses' face with Nue flying right behind him.

Not even a scratch, the two teenagers were no match for him. Nobara has run out of nails and immediately goes for a kick between the legs. Sukuna grabs her by the foot mid-air and pushes her back, causing her to fall back and lose balance.

Why Sukuna hasn't fought back yet is beyond him, yet Megumi too jumps back and gets into a stance, in which Sukuna finally speaks up,

"So you're just going to resort to suicide when you can't beat an opponent? What kind of fucked up mentality is that?"

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Megumi seems caught off guard by that comment, good. He should be, and Sukuna continues,

"I get you're emo and everything, but don't just immediately give up cause your opponent is stronger. You know, you could've killed that special grade back there, right? Man, waste of talent!" Honestly, the way Sukuna said it probably sounded meaner than the canon version.

But improvisation! It's not like he can remember every single dialogue; there's nothing interesting that comes from sticking to the script, and Nobara is here too, therefore he's gonna verbally attack her too, gender equality!

"AND YOU! Dora the Explorer, don't think you're safe, because you're even worse than Walmart Sasuke 2.0 over there!" Nobara looks like she was going to kill him with that death glare, but he wanted to help them improve; it was all for a good cause.

Even if his wording was a bit harsh, it's all to be in character and not because Sukuna finds it funny,

"Just because you're a ranged fighter doesn't mean you can completely neglect your physical training! And what good use are those nails if you can't hit the target? At least make them able to change directions!"

"没用。"Sukuna was about to roas- educate them some more, sadly, fate had other plans when he was hit with a wave of exhaustion.

CRASH

Sukuna was faceplanted into the ground.

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The two teens stared at each other, bewildered.

"W-walmart Sasuke 2.0..?"

"He's not wrong, but did he just call me Dora the fucking Explorer?!"

Ryomen Sukuna was alive in the Heian era, so why did he talk like an average teenager?

Megumi had to stop Nobara from trying to hit the passed-out body with her hammer since it was also Yuuji's body.

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吹牛: bragging or to brag