Missing The Plot! JJK x Self-insert!Sukuna

Chapter 1: SLEEP BEFORE CREEPS -SIkuna

“Sukuna?”

“The curse you ate.” Yuuji closed his eyes like he was thinking for a moment.

“He’s asleep, I think? I mean, I hear a light snoring inside my head right now… I think that's him.” He paused for a moment,

“You, uhh, want me to wake him up?”

“Yes, that would be very helpful!” Gojo exclaimed happily, albeit he is feeling almost everything BUT that. He did not know curses slept, and how does anyone even fall asleep that quickly?

“Ok, give us 1 minute, then come back to us.” He had thrown a bag to Megumi that contained Kikufuku, something about it being a speciality. ‘This guy actually went and bought souvenirs while people are out here dying!’

As if reading his thoughts,

“It’s not a souvenir; I’m going to eat it on the bullet train home.”

_______________________

Sukuna was pissed. Yuuji had woken him up because he forgot that he needed to fight Mr. ‘OoOoOoooo, look at me! I have a paintbrush for a head and I’m the strongest.’

Gojo looks away from Megumi and looks straight at Sukuna with that shit-eating grin,

“Nice of you to join us, oh ‘King of Curses.’” Gojo remarks snarkily, clearly wanting to get on his nerves, and it almost worked.

‘I’ll soon be the king of cursing your mom out if you don’t leave me alone.’  But he didn’t say it out loud, as it would be very rude and his mama actually taught him manners, unlike OGkuna (full offence to him, by the way).

…

But wait, this is all just a hallucination. Why stick to the plot when you can make someone who annoys you uncomfortable? It’s not like any of this would matter later anyway, so why not have some fun?

Sukuna opened his mouth and closed it as he thought about what to say, but he never thinks before he speaks, and it sometimes goes well. So no more hesitation.

Sukuna was always the best when they didn’t think before they spoke, so-

“Is this some sort of weird kink of yours, paintbrush head? Fighting someone currently weaker than you?” Gojo nearly choked.

This is the price you pay for interrupting Sukuna’s beauty sleep. Besides, it’s going to get worse from here on out; he is removing his filter. May the universe have mercy on the honoured one.

“WOAH WOAH WOAH! HOLD UP—” Gojo was not mentally prepared for this, but alas, Sukuna continued,

“I mean, I’m not kink shaming, but I literally just met you? Like—this is my first impression of you, by the way… Not a very good look for you.” At this point, Sukuna was having way too much fun messing with him, and Gojo sputtered, trying to think of a response that wouldn’t ruin his reputation with the King of Curses.

“I DON'T HAVE THAT SORT OF KINK, NOR AM I INTERESTED IN YOU!” But Sukuna wasn’t listening at this point, the one minute was nearly up, and he wanted to go back to his metaphorical bed, and obviously anybody who was in his position would want to make a dramatic exit.

“操你妈的。” and the marks faded away, back to Yuuji's obliviousness.

“So, how did it go?” Gojo promptly knocked Yuuji out.

Of course, Satoru knew it wasn’t Yuuji’s fault and he was going to get back at Sukuna later down the line (Did he just speak Chinese??), but never in his 27 years had anyone humiliated him like that and he didn’t even find out if Yuuji could control him or not!

This was NOT going the way that he had planned. He did not expect someone who lived over a thousand years ago to speak like a typical teenager.

“What are you going to do?” Megumi asked, Good question. And Gojo had already thought of an answer,

“If he isn’t possessed by Sukuna when he wakes up, he might have potential as a vessel.” Gojo then turned to Megumi.

“Now here’s a question! What do you think we should do with him?” Megumi knew the rules that were in place. However, he didn’t want someone like Yuuji to die for his mistakes.

“Even if he is a vessel, Jujutsu regulations would demand that Itadori be executed… However,”
“I don't want to let him die.” The stern look on his face told Gojo all he needed to know.

“Are those your personal feelings?”

“Yes. Please do something about it.” Who was Gojo to say ‘no’ to his precious students? Gojo gave a chuckle.

“Leave it to me!” He assured, so let’s pray that it is Yuuji that wakes up

_______
操你妈的: Fuck you/direct translation: fuck your mom.

If you havent read the full summary, this is cross uploaded on ao3, this is just here in case ao3 shuts down again (It probably will) and you want to reread my story

BUT I recommend you read this story on ao3 for the full experience if you haven't already!