Entering a loveless marriage nobody of them asked for. Yeonjun was a replacement Beomgyu coaxed himself to despise. He never expected to fall until it became so hard that leaving felt easier, running away as far as he could felt easier than staying...
I didn’t care about my make ups and looks could get ruined. Fuck! —that would be the last thing I cared at the moment. The sobs ripped through my throat like a poisonous gasp. Burning up my throat.
I sat devastated at the bed. My hands are clenching the blanket too tight. My tears ran down as I continued to cry. My sobs and pleading eyes were a silent consideration.
I broke down.
My father —he stayed still. Too still that I could understand even in my suffering that he was breaking. I knew that he couldn’t tolerate me crying. He couldn’t watch me crying and sobbing uglily like this.
He loathed it.
He never meant to make me cry.
For a few seconds I saw the silent and slight hesitation in his eyes before he masked it up.
He masked it up with a cruel artificial image he made for himself like he didn’t care if I cried.
But I know —he couldn’t. He still hasn’t become this cruel to see me crying in front and didn’t get fazed.
I wanted to scream —why! Why is he behaving like he is cruel? Why is he behaving like he doesn’t care?
Why is he behaving like he is breaking apart watching me crying.
But I couldn’t —I couldn’t name my emotions. Couldn’t put my emotions into words. Didn’t have the courage to. Didn’t have the power to.
My throat— it felt tight. Almost unbearable. Insufferably tight like someone was squeezing it in purpose. The lump inside felt too big that I couldn’t bear to speak out loud.
It hurted even brutal.
I saw my father —he gulped. His eyes avoiding mine but I couldn’t miss the glossiness into it.
He felt the same lump on his throat. His adams apple bobbled. He tried to gulped the tightness but he couldn’t.
Afterwards it came in the tinniest voice possible. But it wasn’t what I wanted it wasn’t what I anticipated. It wasn’t what I signed up up.
“ Don't cry. Don't behave childish. Get ready you are walking down the aisle in next ten minutes. ”
With that he left.
He didn’t look behind.
Didn’t wait for me to fell apart because I did.
Right at the moment he left me behind, alone. In complete silent. Going ahead to let me deal with my sufferings alone, I broke.
I broke —in the moment I knew, God has added my sufferings only and I am trapped now.
No room for escape for me.
Not here.
Not there.
Not in this life.
Not at any point.
Not at any moment.
I was trapped — completely.
I could not escape.
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— R
akhi!
So hello there! My side academic exams are going on and I got my SSC result today and guess what?
