I called Harlem back cause I told him I would. "Nigga shut up real quick" "oh you doin sum? I can call you back" "I'm not doin nothin Malai why you still crying?"
"Ion know I think I'm bout to start my period or sum everything getting to me Harlem." "You good for real I'm not playin either don't lie I can tell when you lie." "Mhm I'm good I just was writing in my journal, and then I remembered i was supposed to call you."
"Ay nigga get out pissing me off and shit, and send me my money fuck nigga." "Harlem it sound like you doin stuff ima just hang up." "Malai didnt I just say not to hang up?"
He put me on mute as It looked like he was yelling.
"Ok now tell me what's goin on Malai for real." I huffed laying down on my side.
"Ok I started talking to this dude that I met at a restaurant? Lay talking to his hb and I'm talking to him. So I told you everything else, he gon call me giving me a half ass apology and basically saying fuck my feelings Harlem."
"Oh hell nah what's this nigga name? "It's Messiah and then I said how he was weird and I found what he said was very disrespectful and I want an actual apology and stuff, and he gon say I'm sensitive and he's never dated a b word that's so sensitive before."
"Oh hell nah Malai why you letting that nigga talk to you like that. Block that nigga now deadass now I'm mad as fuck ima find that nigga."
He was rubbing his waves that signaled he was actually mad.
"No Harlem I got this you don't need to go back to your old ways." Before me and Harlem even actually started dating he was in a gang and stuff, he slowly started to get out of it and I also know he still has connections, and doesn't care about going back.
"Man fuck all dat he not gon talk to you like you some random ass hoe. "No this is why I don't want to tell you nothing" he sighed "fine Malai I'm not gon do shit."
"You promise?" "I promise on my granny" I nose and played with my fingers.
"Harlem?" "Hm Malai?" I watched as he started to roll up. "Do you hate me for what I did?" I've been wanting to ask him it's been feeling my mind for a while.
"What did you do Malai?" "The baby Harlem do you hate me for that?" It grew quiet and I already started to cry.
"Nah I would never hate you for that shit Lai I wouldn't even be talkin to you if I did Malai. You thought I hated you?"
"Mhm I did because I hate myself for it, and I tried to change because I just feel so fucked up. Like everything bad that ever happens to me is karma for killing our baby. I hate myself so much for that shit Harlem I'm so sorry I didn't know what I doing back then."
"Malai gimme yo location I'm bout to pull up." "N-no you don't have to". "Man give me yo location" I continued to cry as I sent him my location."
"Ima stay on the phone until I get there ok?" "Mhm. It's ok if you hate me tho Harlem I would understand completely." "Malai shut that shit up."
It was 10 minutes later and I heard knocking. "Come answer yo door Malai" I got up putting on some shorts since I was in my underwear. I put on my slippers and walked towards the door.
I opened it and seen he had a lil gift bag in his hand. "Gimme a hug gurl" i immediately wrapped my arms around his waist as I started to cry again.
"I forgive you ight? I been forgave yo ass a long time ago ma ma. You was only twenty, just lost yo mom and you wasn't going down the bestest of paths. Look at me."
I looked up at him "I forgave you four years ago why you still ain't forgive yo self? Hm you to pretty for all that crying look what I got yo ass."
"Come sit on the couch" I mumbled as he followed me I felt his stare making me feel some type of way.
"You wanna watch home?" "You remembered I liked the movie Harlem?" "Of course I ain't forget shit." I hummed and went on Netflix playing it.
"You see what I got you?" "No not yet" I opened the blue bag and seen a whole bunch of kinder joy eggs and Oreo chocolate from Hershey's.
"Aw thank you Lem for real" "you welcome" the movie started and I laid my head on his shoulder.
"How did you forgive me? You wanted to be father right? I remember you told me that we could work it out and how you was so excited to have a daughter."
"I did I still do to Malai but shit happen I had to learn that and think about why you did that." "Man I fucked up Lem" I started to cry again and he quickly started to wipe my tears away.
"No everybody make mistakes Malai" "no I killed our baby! Like I'm a fucking monster Harlem aint shit you can say that will fix it I'm a horrible person."
"I promise you not Lai get that shit through yo head." He moved me onto his lap as he kept on wiping my tears away.
"Can you go to church with me tomorrow Lay can't go and I want somebody to go with me." "Of course I would go what time ma ma" "um 11" "ight I'll just go get my shit from my house and spend the night dats ok?"
"Mhm dats fine"
And the end but before I say my goodbyes it's definitely ok to get an abortion ion want y'all to think it's not, it all depend on the circumstances tho to me.
Like if you know you can't afford your life and your struggling mentally and shit or like you bout to become homeless don't bring no child into that life to struggle with you like shit like that.
Malai was struggling mental due to a lot of shit I ain't discuss yet that's later on but yeah so she decided to abort the baby of course now she obviously regrets and it and hates herself for it but don't make yourself feel like you wrong.
But like my aunt for example that girl wrong no shade she keep on getting abortions and shit and that's wrong to me cause girl you know what you doing at the end of the day but yeah
Bye y'all
