Hacking into my Hyper-linked Heart

Chapter 3- Dreamer

I reached the library 15 minutes late, I hurriedly ran up the stairs to the big antique building. I opened the massive glass doors and made my way to the counter as I tried to quietly make my way so my manger didn't know. Unfortunately, it's my life. Myra Dawn's life and I am bound to get caught any second. I made my way to the staff room; I took my coat off and hooked it on the peg as I put my bag in my locker. I looked at the board in front of me to see my duties for today. Great, I had to sort the books out in the back shelf of the library where hardly anyone went. The back of the library gave me the creepiest feeling ever. I took my book and my pen and tried to tiptoe out of the room, past my manager’s office, without her knowing I was late once again. I have received many warnings from my manager about my punctuality due to my mother. If my mother didn't know her, I would have been fired long ago.

I then realised I had successfully tiptoed past the manager's office without her knowing about my presence. I wanted to do a little happy dance due to my achievement but I was dead wrong.

“Myra, you are late once again.” stated Mary my manager.

I looked back and saw her with her arms crossed as she looked down at me with those tense brown eyes. I gulped knowing my fate of getting fired, I may have been given 20 warnings but that doesn't mean Mary is sick of it and wants me out.

“I am sorry Mary.” I said sincerely.

“That's all I hear, you’re sorry, but the next day your late again and again and again.”

I looked down at the floor knowing I was going to receive a 10 minute lecture like I always do.

“The only reason you’re here is because I am a really good friends with your mother, if it was up to me, you would have been fired long ago. It's time you take responsibility and stop coming up with excuses and lame apologies.”

I sighed in defeat. “Yes Mary,” I took my paper out and made my way to the back of the library. How I wish I could get out of this place and start working in a big organisation, where my duties and presence matters. I know working in a library does matter for the people who love to come here and get stuck in a book or two, but it's not challenging or acknowledged. I sighed as a tear rolled down my cheek.

Once I reached home, I lay on the sofa, without a care in the world; I gazed up at the ceiling, lost in my own world. I have lately been feeling depressed like my life is going nowhere, like I'm stuck in one place and everyday is repetitive with the same old routine like the last one.

While my mind wandered to random stuff, it casually went to the one person I forgot until now, Chris Chezny. I instantly remembered how I replied back to his email and haven't been back on to it to see if he had replied back or not. I took off to my room and locked myself in as I jumped on to my bed and switched on the laptop. I took my HiFi remote and switched it on to put some music on and settled with songs by the Wanted. I shifted on my bed so I was laying on my stomach as I swung my legs in the air as I logged myself on the site and saw I had 2 emails. I couldn't help but smile. I clicked on the first email sent to me:

From Chris:

No you haven't hurt my feelings ‘cause I’m not a paedophile.

Yes I do admit I dream realistically at least I won't worry about getting hurt in the process of dreaming big :)  I see you're a dreamer and nice words to show your compassion in dreaming but answer me one thing. When reality finally sets in and shatters your hopes and dreams into little pieces, what will you do then? All I can say is that believing in fairytales and big dreams will only make you expect so much from life, when in reality you won't be able to fulfil your dreams...

From CC

I read the email and it hit me hard. I do dream big and believe in fairytales, maybe due to this I expect so much from my life. Working in a big organisation, feeling needed due to my work, earning a lot of money. Yes maybe I do dream big, that's why I am feeling depressed. Because I am not in the position I wanted to be in my life. Perhaps working in the library is as good as it can get. I sighed as I put my head as the thoughts ran around my head as I sobbed quietly. At that moment, I felt so lonely and isolated, even though I have my mother and best friend, but it's not the same thing as I want someone to hold me and tell me that everything will be okay. To kiss me and make all my worries disappear. My laptop made a beeping noise letting me know I received an email. I looked up at my screen as I wiped away my tears. I saw it was an email from Chris, before I read what he's written, I checked his previous email he sent me.

From: Chris

I am waiting for my reply :)

From CC

I smiled at his email and clicked on the message he just sent.

From: Chris

I see you’re online but no reply :( Have I said anything to upset you?

From CC

When I read the last email, it somehow touched my heart. He was concerned if I was upset because of him, that little gesture made me feel happy instantly. I chuckled at his words and hit the reply icon so I could release him from his misery. 

To: Chris

Well I hope you do know people have lives to live :P I was busy with life and work so I didn't have time to reply back and no, nothing you said upset me so don't worry :)

I did read your reply back to my words and honestly I did have a little think about what you wrote. Maybe you’re right, I shouldn't dream big because it does hurt when you dream so big about a certain situation and when you have worked your ass off and you end up somewhere totally different to somewhere you wished and hoped to be. And the answer to your question: even though I know that dreams can shatter and hit reality but dreaming is the only thing that helps me to move on and try my best in everything I do so I can strive to where I want to be and dream about. Maybe I do expect too much from my life but that's the way I have been living for the last 22 years of my life and I don't think I can change that part of me...

From MD

I felt satisfied with my answer and hit the send icon. I moved the laptop away from me and laid back on my bed as I thought about everything , when I started to feel sleepy, I closed my eyes as I let the sleep consume me.