Toxic , chaotic, passion , confusing ,complicated ..
Love story ..the love we hate , when you wanna leave but you can't , you wanna wish you never met them but you know your life would be weird without them.... Love? Lust? ..Lost maybe.
Take the Jou...
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Ayanna Carmela Smith January 1st 2001 23 Hotel Manger~
Blasting whole world against me by Tink through my beats I tapped my fingers at the beat closing my eyes for a moment. Getting on the train I started to think about why I left my country hometown and came to the "Big Apple" and no before you say it it wasn't for a nigga...ok that's ONE of the reasons but besides my family being distant always find myself unemployed feeling like I wasn't gonna beat the generational curse of poverty that runs in my family the only option was to leave ,And I did just that. There was nothing for me in Atlanta people and things made that very clear, but it's been a year and I've honestly enjoyed New York . Managing at the Four Seasons in Manhattan meeting new people enjoying my very very small and pricey apartment I can't complain....well besides the terrible smell when I go back home in Brooklyn and the people are not the nicest but still enjoying and taking in the moment .
9:00 am~ "Good-morning my wonderful team " I greeted smiling as I walked in and as usual I got a few fake and genuine smiles and good mornings back . Being a young on top of being a black women in a manger position where most of my "co- workers "don't look nor have the same shade as me , they definitely gave me a hard time . Yeah they still doing that in 2025 but I'm not here to make friends baby we getting this money to fund the dream.... Which I'm still trying to figure out ,but it'll all work itself out...at least I hope .
I went over a brief meeting with my team and got to work once I seen the mountain of emails I knew today was going to be long . 3:30 pm~ I finally took a lunch break for today I sighed sitting in the break room drinking my energy drink I closed my eyes for a second. Looking down at my phone that was ringing I seen that it was my dad I just looked at it then silenced in, not in the mood to talk . Hearing my phone go off again I sighed seeing that it was my mom calling back to back I finally answered but before I could even say anything "Ayanna Grandma Elda passed away this morning" Everything around me stopped feeling like my heart was beating out my chest "Ayanna" "Ayanna" Snapping out of it I looked at my phone "Ayanna did you hear me" I looked up seeing some of my co-workers looking at me concerned "I'll be there soon" I said and hung up Getting up I walked out going to my office shutting the door . Trying to take in what I just heard I sat down , thinking about me and grandma Eldas last conversation how I was gonna come get her from Atlanta and bring her to New York with me one of her dreams where to come to New York grandma Elda was there when I felt like the literal world was against me she never judged always listened and gave the BEST advice . I sighed tearing up putting my head in my hands , I heard a light knock on the door "come in" I dried my eyes quickly and sat up It was my Gm "Ayanna is everything alright " she walked in asking concerned "I just got a phone call that my Grandmother passed away this morning " "Oh my Ayanna I'm sorry , Go home take some times you've been doing so well but I don't want you to carry that weight , the office is running smoothly " I shook my head "No Mrs Morgan I just need a moment plus I need the distraction right now" she nodded "I understand please don't hesitate to come to my office or take a break if you need it " I nodded as she left out closing my office door.
