Sparrow's Story

Chapter 2

I was sitting with Adam under a tree by a lake. I knew I was dreaming. But I didn't want to leave. Of course, I heard the alarm start to scream and I was pulled outta my dream. Great. 530. Time to wake up and get back to that hell hole most call school.

I droned through my morning rituals. Eyeliner. Eye shadow. Straighten my hair. I found an Alesana shirt in my closet and decided I would wear it. I grabbed a pair of jeans off a hanger. Pulled the hoodie over everything and ambled downstairs. I stole some of my foster mom's cover up and patched up my black eye I had gotten from the previous day. I grabbed a piece of bread out of the pantry and walked out the door, backpack in hand, iPod blaring in my ears.

It took 20 minutes for me to get to school. I didn't want to be there. When I couldn't put off going inside any longer, I walked in, head down, to my table. It was the place I could be alone. I just sat at waited until the bell rang. I followed the crowd to my locker. I was pushed around while walking there. The usual. It didn't bug me anymore. So, you run into a few door handles on the way. So what? The bruises they leave are gone in a week or so.

I didn't pay attention all day. Walked, wrote, and walked some more. Before I knew it, the day was over. Thank the Lord nothing bad happened today. I walked home at a slower pace than I had when I went to school. It was beautiful outside. Sun was out, no clouds. Perfect autumn day. I wanted to enjoy it while I could.

I walked up and over the hill to my house. I could see cop cars. Shit. "What the hell is going on?" I thought. I ran down the hill at full speed, not caring if I tripped every 10 feet. I got to my front door to see my foster mom being carried out in handcuffs.

"What the hell is going on?" I asked the cop closest to me.

"Come over here." He said, and walked over to a bank on the side of my house. "Your foster mom was pulled over for speeding and cocaine was found in her car. We came to search the house." He explained.

"But, that makes no sense. She doesn't do that shit." Then it hit me. Her boyfriend had borrowed her car a few nights ago. That bastard. I was losing the person who was the closest thing I had to family because of him.

I explained what I knew to the cop. Officer Logan. Handsome enough guy. About the height of Adam. Black hair. Almost as black as mine. But not quite. Brown eyes. Laugh lines. Seemed to be a happy enough guy. He said even if that was true, my foster mom would have to be taken in for questioning. I was worried. I knew she hadn't done anything wrong. But, I didn't want to go into the foster care system again. Its not a fun place.

I drifted off into my memories again as I walked away from Officer Logan. Back to the days of when I had to share a huge warehouse style room with a bunch of screaming kids. I was like a mother to them. I was the elder. The one they looked to when they needed advice or just a friend. Its dangerous to get close to people in the system. One of you will always leave. But I couldn't help it. I was in their position once. Alone in this space with people you didn't know. It was terrifying.

I could remember the little ones crawling onto my bed when there were thunder storms or when they had nightmares. I was always there for them. And was always happy when they got out of that place. I prayed every night that they would never have to come back. I didn't want them to live my life.

We weren't given anything there. The minimal amount of food. No toys. 3 sets of clothes. It wasn't the houses fault. The government wouldn't fund them. Nothing they could do about that. Just made my hatred toward the government worse. They didn't care about the kids in the homes. As long as they lived in their fancy houses and their kids had anything their hearts desired, everything was fine. Who would care about us? Who should? Nobody. We were worthless. Might as well be dead to the world.

I felt someone tap my shoulder and spun to see Officer Logan. "So, we're taking your mom to the station. I really shouldn't be doing this but, you gonna be okay by yourself?" He asked. "You seem like a strong enough girl. Look like you could live on your own for a few days without much trouble." I could see true worry on his face. Nice guy. I could tell.

"Yeah. I'll be fine. I can cook without burning the house down. I have a couple hundred saved if I need to get anything." I promised

"Okay. Call me if you need anything okay?" he said as he handed me his card.

"Sure thing. Um... can I say by to my mom before you take her?" I asked

"Of course." He turned and lead me to his cruiser.

I saw her then. She looked dead. I had never seen her like this. It worried me.

"Hey mom. You're gonna be okay. You didn't do anything wrong. Just tell them the truth. Everything will be fine." I told her. It surprised me how much I sounded like a mom.

"Well, I'm surely not going to lie and say it was mine." She said. The usual laugh in her voice. She smiled, but it didn't reach her eyes. They were cold as stone and I couldn't figure out why. That bothered me. I could tell she was trying to make me not so worried. It didn't work. Her usually bright hazel eyes were dulled. Her chestnut hair that was always smoothed into place looked frizzed. She looked ready to lose her mind. What secret could possibly be making her like this?

"I'll see you later." I told her. Then I walked away. I couldn't talk to her anymore. I would cry.

The cruisers pulled out of the drive way. I went straight up to my room. I slammed my door and went straight for the bobby pin. "I shouldn't do this whenever I get sad." One voice in my head said. "But it'll make everything go away." The other promised. I watched as cuts filled my arms. I could feel the pain. But I was starting to befriend it. I found comfort in it.

I felt that Adam was with me. I felt calmer than I had before. He has always had that effect on people. He was comfort. He had always been there when I had needed a shoulder to cry on. I could trust him with any secret. And he was always able to trust me with his. I loved Adam. I had wanted to marry him. Guess that wasn't an option anymore.

I felt the need to put the pin down. I was tired. I just needed a nap. I laid my head down on the pillow. I let every memory I had of Adam fill my mind. I let his comfort fill me too. I needed it right now. As I always do, I began to miss him. I felt the warm sting of tears run down my cheek. I drifted into sleep. "Please, no nightmares this time." was my last thought. "I promise" I heard Adam's voice respond.