Scripted to Be

Chapter Sixty-Three: Cradle and Deceit

By Monday morning, Operation Baby Prop had graduated from subtle to chaotic.

Someone — no one claimed credit — had placed a plush stuffed giraffe in the driver's seat of Rick's old patrol car on set. It had a tiny sheriff's badge clipped to its ear. A sippy cup sat in the cupholder. Someone else (read: Steven) had carefully draped a baby blanket across the hood like it was a picnic.

Lauren stood beside the vehicle that afternoon, hands on her hips, brow furrowed in performance.

"Okay, seriously," she said, loud enough to be overheard. "Who keeps turning this into Babyland USA?"

Steven, standing beside her with a practiced scowl, added, "You'd think if someone were gonna commit to the bit, they'd at least make it plot accurate. That's a jungle animal, not a walker."

Christian, watching from the shadows of the makeup trailer, snorted into her coffee. "They're devils," she muttered to Andy, who stood next to her chewing on a protein bar like it was the last bit of sanity he had left.

Andy didn't even look up. "They've gone full performance art."

Christian narrowed her eyes as Lauren dramatically picked up a tiny "I <3 My Daddy" bib from one of the folding chairs and announced, "Does no one sanitize around here?"

Steven took it from her and held it up to the light like a crime scene investigator. "Are we being haunted by a baby ghost?"

From a distance, they looked convincingly confused. Concerned even.

From closer—like where Christian and Andy stood—they looked smug as hell.

"You realize," Christian muttered, "this is escalating to the point someone's going to call HR."

"I'm waiting for someone to plant a diaper on the catering trays," Andy said. "They've got no chill left."

And he was right.

That afternoon, a baby bottle full of water appeared next to the director's coffee. A mobile—little plush stars and clouds—hung from the boom mic stand. Someone left a laminated "Baby on Board" car decal stuck to the side of the camera dolly.

The cast started whispering.

Danai passed Steven and Lauren in the hallway and mumbled, "If this is for a prank war, you're both trying too hard."

Ross declared it was clearly a marketing stunt for a secret Walking Dead: Daycare spinoff.

Josh simply posted a selfie with a pacifier on his forehead and wrote "my truth."

But no one had cracked it yet.

And Steven and Lauren?

They just kept pretending.

At one point, Steven "found" a baby rattle in the sound booth and gasped like someone had dropped a grenade. Lauren responded with, "You know what? I don't want to film in here anymore. That's ominous."

Christian, walking past, nearly spit out her drink.

"Tell me again why we're not telling everyone yet?" Andy asked under his breath.

"Because," Christian said, eyes never leaving Lauren as she fake-inspected a baby sock taped to her script binder, "this is the most fun I've had all year."

By Wednesday morning, someone found a baby monitor blinking softly in the sound stage control room.

It wasn't plugged in.

It wasn't connected to anything.

It just blinked. Quiet. Invasive. Judging.

"Okay, I'm not doing this anymore," Emily declared, arms crossed over her chest as she stood in front of it like it might detonate. "What is this? Who's raising a ghost child on set?"