Strings of Fate: The First Loop

CHAPTER 46

That landed like a stone in my gut. She meant Betty. She always meant Betty.

I turned to her, finally. Really looked at her, the woman I once thought knew me better than anyone else. And maybe she did. Maybe that’s why it felt so sick now.

“You disgust me,” I said.

Her face didn’t crumble. Not right away. But her mouth parted slightly, and her shoulders stiffened. I saw it then, the flicker of pain, the mask cracking.

But I didn’t stay to watch it fall.

I grabbed my clothes off the floor, shirt half-wrung, jeans crumpled, heart shattered, and I walked out the door.

Again.

The salt air hit me like a slap. The same scent from last night. But everything had changed.

I wasn’t running anymore. I was drowning.

I didn’t remember how I got home. My body moved, but my mind stayed behind, somewhere between the salt air and the taste of guilt. I pushed open the front door like it might scream. The house was still. Hollow. I didn’t bother turning on the lights. I just walked straight to my room, peeling off my shirt like it was the skin of someone I didn’t want to be anymore. I let it fall to the floor. It landed with a whisper, but it felt like thunder.

I sat beside the bed, back against the frame. The wood was cold. The silence even colder. My fingers tangled in my hair as if I could pull the memory out of my skull. The curve of her jaw. The heat of her breath. The whisper of temptation that I swallowed like wine turned to poison.

What did I do?

I kissed her like she was salvation. Touched her like she could undo the ache. Let her in like she was light, but she wasn’t. She was the shadow I ran to because it didn’t ask questions. Because it was easier. I think… I think I understand Adam now. He didn’t choose the apple over Eve. He took the bite with her. Knowing. Willing. Maybe even hoping the fall would hurt just enough to feel like he existed. I wasn’t just tempted. I leapt.

And now? Now the ground is gone beneath me. Now Betty is slipping from my hands, and it’s not like a door closing, it’s like heaven itself dimming. Like the gates are too far away, and I’m too tainted to be let back in. I’m a fallen thing.
A name written in light once, now inked in shadow.

Lucifer.

Not evil. Just lost. Just proud. Just… broken.

I let the weight of it all crash into me. My chest ached like there was a cross there, not one I carried, but one I broke. I whispered her name into the silence.

"Betty."

But the walls didn’t echo it back. Only the void. Only me. And somewhere, maybe, the sound of angels mourning.

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Monday came like a sentence. Like I’d been waiting all weekend just to be punished. But still, I showed up.

I thought I had to. Maybe it was guilt. Maybe some twisted need to face what I broke. To see Betty. To apologize. To... Tim’s fist found my face before any thought could finish. The blow knocked me sideways, blood bursting from my nose like something inside me finally gave way. Pain bloomed across my cheekbone. The world tilted.

“What the hell?!” I yelled, staggering back, hands flying to my face.

Tim didn’t yell. He roared. “How could you do that to Betty?!”

My pulse spiked. “What are you talking about?!”

And then Inez showed me. Her phone trembled in her grip. On the screen, my skin. Her skin. Olive’s lips on mine. My fingers in her hair. The bed. The sheets. My betrayal. Half-covered. Fully exposed. My breath caught. The noise around me dropped out. I stared at it like maybe if I just looked long enough, it would become someone else. Someone worse. But it was me.

Me. I didn’t speak. I couldn’t. I just lowered my head. No denial. No excuse. Just shame like a flood.

“D-Does she know?” I asked, barely more than a whisper.

Drake’s voice cut through from behind. “Of course she knows, you son of a—”

He shoved me hard. My back hit the edge of a car, my hands flailing for balance.

“You never change, do you?” Drake’s voice cracked with fury. “She loved you. Loved you, James. Maybe the only person who really did. And you...”

His voice broke. His eyes did too. I didn’t say a word.

“Where is she?” I finally asked, my voice splintering.

“No one knows,” Inez said. Her voice was quieter. But it wasn’t mercy, it was heartbreak. “She drove off when she saw the video. Her dad’s looking for her. Everyone is.”

I looked at Inez. She looked like she wanted to cry and scream at the same time. Her hands were clenched. Her jaw tight. But her eyes… they were just broken.

“We never thought you could be worse, James,” Corey added from behind, stepping closer. “But this? This is the worst one yet.”

Then they all walked away. Just like that. And me? I stood there. Blood on my face. Regret clawing up my throat. Silence pressing in on every side.

They were right. I am the worst. I don’t deserve her. Not her love. Not her forgiveness. Not even the memory of her.

And still, I wanted to see her.

Even if it would destroy me.

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-------Betty's POV-------

The wind stung my face as I stood at the edge of the cliff. Salt clung to the air, thick and sharp, like it wanted to cut me open too. In my trembling hand, I held the butterfly bracelet. The gold charm glinted faintly in the dying sun, catching the light the same way my hope used to. Blood slid down my wrist, warm at first, then cold. It tickled, in the worst way, a sick reminder that I could still feel something, even now. I stared at the horizon, but I couldn’t see it clearly. My vision blurred, not just from tears, but from exhaustion. Every breath hurt. Every beat of my heart felt like it was trying to crack through my ribs and fall into the sea. They say when the heart breaks, the body suffers. Maybe they’re right. Maybe pain is just love turning to ash inside you. Maybe this is what grief really is: silent, slow, and then all at once.

I thought of James. His smile that first day. His laugh when we walked barefoot in the beach. His hand over mine, promising me I was safe.

Then I saw him again, only this time, in Olive’s arms. His lips against hers. Their bodies tangled like vines in the dark, like two wolves devouring each other under the cover of hunger and need.

I closed my fingers around the bracelet one last time, then opened my hand. The charm slipped from my palm and caught a final glint of sun before it disappeared,  down, down, into the waves crashing far below.

And then I screamed.

I screamed for everything, for my mother, for myself, for the girl who believed love could save anyone. I screamed until my throat burned and my knees buckled beneath me. I hit the ground hard. The gravel bit into my skin, but I didn’t care. I stayed there, on my knees, arms limp, the wind whipping through my hair like it wanted to carry me away too.

But nothing could. I was still here.

And that was the cruelest part of all.