death of the lamb.

chapter 1-the first life.

In my first life, I was a cruel soul. Born to a dead mother, the first words my father whispered to me as a newborn were, "Devil child". He wasted not a single breath nor glance in my direction for the next 18 years. The day I turned 18, he spared me his second words, "You are to marry the duke". I did not rebel, for I had no choice.

My marriage was with Ivan Larke, the revered and respected Duke that ruled the battlefields. His light golden locks were comparable to the petals of a sun-kissed daisy, while his eyes a mellow turquoise that resembled turbulent waves. As the son of a Larke, Ivan was a prodigious knight with the most compassionate heart. A man with such beauty and grace was to be wed to a woman—no, a witch like me.

On our wedding day, he hastily slid the ring in my finger. He had a disgusted look in his eyes, as if even the thought of touching me betrayed his dignity. That was the last time he allowed me to lay even a finger on him for the rest of our marriage. He did not dare touch me, as if I were a dirty rat bringing about the plague.

I understood his hatred. Not only was I extremely hideous to look at, my father, The Marquis of Velkros, was also the one who was responsible for the death of Ivan's mother. Thus, he bore ill will towards a child of the Velkros. He resented the very flesh that made my body and the blood that ran through my veins. That was the reason why he did not bat an eye when he saw his own wife get mistreated by his servants.

Yet, I still begged for his affections day in and out. I pleaded—kneeled before him, even. Shame to a witch like me was like legs to a snake: useless.

"This too shall pass," I whispered each night without fail. These attempts to lull myself to sleep never came into fruition. Instead, a looming feeling of desperation would creep in like spiders crawling under my skin.

Four years somehow managed to pass by. On the day I turned 22, Ivan returned home with another woman in his hands. Her name was Yofiel, a young woman with the most wonderful smile. Her hair was the loveliest shade of pink I had ever seen, the thought of lotuses came by whenever I glared at her with envy.

Her smile radiated like the sun itself, sweet as the honeysuckles. How could anyone not fall in love with someone as lovely as her? Even my husband did. He claimed she was just someone who had saved his life—a debt to repay. But the look in his eyes when he stared at her; how I wished I could capture them.

She was my first friend, and also my first hatred. All my life, I had never once resented my father, my husband nor the maids who belittled me. I thought I deserved all their animosity towards me. But Yofiel, she was different. She never once looked at me with hatred.Instead, her eyes were filled with pity. Her presence made me uneasy—unfamiliar.

If she was a lotus, I was the muck and dirt that surrounded her. Even in the same circumstances, she was able to find love, be adored by everyone. Me? I had nothing I could call my own. Not my body, my heart, my actions, nor my feelings.

All the frustrations that I had locked up deep in my heart bursted in front of her. The anger and hatred I had buried so deep inside of me flowed out after I met her. I pushed, pulled, hit, slapped, what did I not do to her?

In the end, I watched her die in front of me. I had held resentment for her, but not malice. Someone had poisoned her teacup when she was with me. I watched her suffocate and cough up crimson red blood. Even in her final moments, she smiled and said to me, "Live a long life."

I was not able to fulfill her last wish. The very next day, when the duke heard news of Yofiel's passing, he kicked the doors to my room open and dragged me in front of the entire manor. There, he slit my throat. "You truly are the devil." Those were his final words to me.

Miraculously, I opened my eyes once more.

author notes. 𐙚 ˚ ૮ >⩊<ა

hello everynyan :333!!! i am the author of this silly story. i hope ygs enjoyed the firsr chapter ^0^!!! honestly i wrote this story only because i could NOT stand the countless manhwas i've read where the ml grts redeemed despite his horrible actions so rejoice my fellow readers >:D the duke is not the father ML!!!

i have not actually chosen a proper ml so ygs have to choose.... honestly contemplating making this a yuri 😐 or maybe a poly ending idk