Rick and Morty: Eric

Pilot

"Hey Eric, what're you working on?", pouring the liquid into the vile the older boy connected it to a pistol like device. "On an invention...", hearing a click he aimed it at a wall. "Cool, cool.... So did you make what I asked for!?", rolling his eyes Eric pulled the trigger. Watching a portal appear he grinned, throwing an apple inside he saw it quickly turn into mush.

"Augh no why would I make a save point tool!? So you can do perverted shit without consequence!?", "wh-what are y-you saying! I'm not a pervert!". "You piece of shit, the reason why I wanted my own room was because you were jerking off in our room you turd! I SCANNED THE ROOM WITH UV LIGHTS! YOU WERE LUCKY YOU LITTLE MORTYS WEREN'T ON MY THINGS, OR ELSE I COULD HAVE KICKED YOUR ASS!!!", huffing the boy became distraught.

"Then what about my other ideas?", "I'm not making a helicopter lawn chair; besides, I'm trying to perfect my portal gun". "Fine, wh-", "kids! Come to the kitchen quick!". "GOSH FUCKING DAMN IT! IS IT DISTRACT ERIC DAY!?", rubbing his eyebrows in annoyance he quickly put his prototype in a container.

"Come on Morty, let's go see what mom wants", fixing his lab coat he walked after the boy. Exiting the garage the two moved to the kitchen, taking out a flask filled with Dr. Pepper Eric drank from the container. "A-burp-alright who died", entering the kitchen he saw his older sister and parents next to an old man.

"W-burp- who is he Beth?", smiling the woman went behind the kids and pushed them forward. "This is Eric! My middle born, Summer here is my oldest, and Morty is my youngest!", staring at Eric the man nodded. "He-burp- looks so much like your mother", "I know! He even has her freckles!".

Turning the woman looked to her kids, "this is your Grandpa, Rick". "Your dead-beat dad?", "y-yes but things are different now! He's going to be staying with us from now on- though this means Eric has to move back with Morty-". "FUCK THAT! THAT LITTLE TURD MASTERBATES EVERYWHERE, AND I MEAN EVERYWHERE! WHY DO YOU THINK I HAVE THOSE BOT CLEANERS CLEAN THE HOUSE AT NIGHT!!!!", "Eww does he do it in our rooms!?".

"Yes Summer, he goons to the picture of your friends", "MORTY!". "Enough! Eric quit trying to fight this, please do this for me", hearing his mother soft request he scoffed and left. "Mamas boy", "fuck off Morty before I make a device that makes you feel pain when you beat tour meat". Going into the garage Eric placed a hair into a container, watching a whole baby appear from the object he pulled them out and set them on the floor.

Mixing a vile he heard the door open, throwing it at the baby he saw it quickly turn into a fully grown Morty. Taking out a pistol he shot the clone, "DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT!". Blowing a laser through his skull, he continued his onslaught until no remains were left. "Wow, you really are my grandchild", turning slightly he gave him a quick look before grabbing his prototype.

"Wh-burp-whats that supposed to be?", "a portal gun". Being intrigued the man paid closer attention, "do-burp-does it work?". Making a portal he noticed an eyeball, picking it up he tossed it inside. Seeing it incinerate, he went to a dry erase board. "What does it look like", scanning the objects around Rick scrutinized everything.

Turning to the formula on the board he looked it over, "hmm... Whe-burp-where did you get the idea to build a portal gun?". ".... People hate me because I am superior to them, so I invented a device to see across dimensions so that I can imitate myself to a likeable version", "burp- Why?". "Why else? Get L. A. I. D. What's the point of having a shlong this big and not being able to use it", "a-burp-aaah, like grandfather, like grandson".

"Yeah well I am literally the only one across all of reality, in every dimension exist a summer and Morty, but not me. Even kids who are adopted exist across multiple realities, I'm the Ricest Eric there is", "h-burp-hey don't beat yourself up, I'm the rickest Rick, no other one is like me. You're not alone", "thanks Rick". Nodding the man pointed at the three, "th-burp-that's supposed to be an eight, everything else is correct".

Slapping his face Eric corrected his portal gun, shooting it he saw two portals appear. Throwing a screw inside, he saw it appear through the other. "HOLY SHIT, THANK YOU!", "burp-sure, come on, I need to move in". Remembering earlier his face soured, 'ugh'.

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"Dad, Mom, come on. Rick just needed my help is all", "Morty stay out of this, you are obviously not capable of judging these situations on your own". 'Holy shit they're calling Morty a retard!', "what are you trying to say about Morty, that he's stupid or something?". "Oh don't highroad us dad, you know Morty is the last child to be missing classes", "I don't know what you mean about that, c-could you be a little more specific?".

"Oh for crying out loud, he has some kind of disability or something. Is that what you want us to say?", 'damn, they said it'. "I do?", "Well duh doy son, look I love you Morty but we know you aren't as fast as the other kids so to compete in this world you need to work twice as hard". "You're telling me dad, with the way you parasite on mom, you certainly want to pass your skills", "shut it Eric!".

"Ah geeze, you know that's a lot to drop on a kid all at once", "don't prove them right". Shaking his head Eric grabbed a mega seed, "Morty tell your parents the square root of pie". "Rick you know I can't", "the square root of pie Morty, go". Stiffening the boy answered, "1.77245385". 'What the hell?'.

"What the hell!?", "holy crap he's right". Analyzing the seed Eric rubbed his eyebrow, "I told both of you school is stupid, its not how you learn things. He's a gifted kid, he has a special mind. He's my little helper, he's like me. He's going to be doing great science stuff later in his life, he's too smart for school".

'Ooh boy, Morty is fucked', finishing Eric turned to see his parents leaving. "You know what? Okay!", "if they fuck, I'm going to blow my brains out". Looking to the guys he crossed his arms, "holy cow Rick, I didn't think hanging out with you would make me smarter!". "It didn't Morty, I don't know what else was inside but the majority composition of the seed were amino acids and a poison that cease your motor skills", "8-burp-89 percent correct Eric".

"Mind telling me the other 11 percent?", "n-burp-no". Rolling his eyes the boy grabbed a metal arm, 'now how do I make this compact?'. "AHHHHHHH!", seeing Morty lose body functioning Eric. Sticking a few herbs into a machine he heard a ting, grabbing a syringe full of liquid he stabbed it into the boy. "O-oh, tank you Eric", "you have your motor skills back, but your even more retarded, it should wear off tomorrow".