His fingers were careful. Hesitant. He didn't rush. And when the clasp clicked into place, I felt something in me do the same.
He didn't say anything after. Didn't try to make it more than it was. And maybe that's why it meant more.
Cause all I can see was he was shy , shy is written all over his face . I swallow hard.
Now I'm home, lying in bed, staring at the ceiling while my fingers trace the pendant over my collarbone.
And I'm afraid.
Because I think I'm starting to feel something. Not all at once. Not completely. But something.
That something is scare the hell out me .
A flicker. A beginning.
I've been broken before. Loved wrong. Trusted people who didn't deserve it. But with him... It doesn't feel like falling.
It feels like healing.
Slowly. Gently. Like maybe love doesn't have to hurt this time.
Kyuki har waqt pyaar apko dhoka de ye toh jaruri nahi hai nah !
Like maybe-just maybe- it could start with a silver moon and the boy who gave it to me without asking for anything in return.
Does he meant something ?
God i started to overthinking again.
I want to talk about this to mahi but she was sleeping right now.
_______
It was few days after the party . Mahi and I were sitting in class , although we both know we have no interest in this class.
But for the attendance we have to .
After the class we both went to cafeteria. Coffe is the best thing to chill your mind after a boring class.
At the cafeteria my eyes landed on dhruv. He is rish's bestfriend if I guess right.
I wave at him , called him to join us .
Without hesitation he came and join us .
" Where is rishi ? I haven't seen him since few days ? " Then i realised how dumb I am to ask about rishi without saying a proper hello to him .
He raised his eyebrows.
God please he didn't take my question in another way .
He said while nodded slowly " ghar mein kuch kaam hai uske papa ke sath "
I nodded back in understand.
" Waise.. ye rishi ka .. matlab.. iski koi gf nahi thi ? " I hesitated to ask him . But my curiosity is important so I asked it anyway .
He hesitate before speaking.
" You could tell us we won't tell any one , not even rishi " mahi remarked .
" Rishi toh padhai pe jyada focused tha kyuki you know uske papa ka business use hi sambhalna hai but ek ladki thi pata nhi naam yaad nahi aa rha .. uske wajah se vo bohat hurt hua tha .." he paused like he want to add something out of the conversation.
" Ab toh mujhe jaise pata hai vo ladki chakkar mein nahi ayega " he shrugged dramatically.
Like bhai ! Kya batana chahte ho tum !
We talked more over time , exchange joke . And there's a part of missing him , wish he was here .
I told myself we are just friends . That's all I have space for . After what happened last year... That was i could allow .
I built walls and they are high .
Well let's not think about him too much. I'm just overthinking and nothing.
Dhruv leave after some time .
Now I get time to talk about the party to mahi .
" Mahi yr .. vo party mein ... " I said everything to her , every single details and everything i felt at the time .
Mahi didn't react, not even flinch.. What she was thinking !? God i felt like something is going on her mind.. something big ..
"Wait .. let's come straight to the point..he likes you anshi " she spoke. A small smile appear at corner of my lips like that's what I want to hear─stop anshi .
" Bohat soch rhi hai tu ..aisa kuch nahi─" She cut me off ." Kya ! Galat kya hai ? Dekh vo kisi bhi ladki ko bhao nahi deta .. and mujhe bhi doubt hota tha ..when he was around you.. he seems very different─like very different "
Butterfly!!! Stop please..I don't want to feel this right now .. SHITT I'M BLUSHING AGAIN! ..
" Anshi .. don't tell me ..you like him too !!???" She exclaimed
" Nahi .. I don't.." i looked away to hide my blush but it's not any use cause she has already seen it .
God i want to disappear cause I don't have any answer to her question . I'm not sure about my feelings cause rishi and I always have been friends─but now i started to catch feelings─i shouldn't let myself feel this but I felt it anyway.
" Okay okay i get it " she said dramatically , then i glare at her .
Cause she knows me .
What I'm feeling right now .
What i feelings after the party .
Then we laughed together knowing damn well we understand eachother more than anyone even if one of us lying.
_______
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