Strings of Fate: The First Loop

CHAPTER 5

His words didn’t just sting, they slammed into me, a fist twisting inside my chest. I sank down against the wall, feeling smaller than I ever thought possible. The weight of disappointment, of failure, pressed down so hard it felt like it could crush me.

That flicker of warmth I’d held onto, memories of Betty’s soft voice, the way her eyes shifted when she didn’t want to meet mine, the way her hair smelled sweet and familiar, vanished like smoke.

I was nothing. Less than a speck of dust. Lost. Broken. Useless.

The basketball I’d been holding slipped from my fingers and thudded against the floor, rolling away like my hope.

I didn’t care.

My footsteps were heavy as I made my way to my room, the silence thick around me. The door clicked shut behind me, shutting out the world.

I peeled off my clothes, feeling the cold air kiss my skin. Every inch of me ached, not just from the day’s exhaustion but from the weight of what I couldn’t fix.

The shower was my only refuge. The water was hot, spilling over my head, my shoulders, tracing the lines of my body, washing away the sting of tears I didn’t even bother to hide.

I curled in on myself, knees drawn tight to my chest, trembling. Not just from the cold water, but from the sting of feeling small, powerless, abandoned.

Eventually, I forced myself out, the towel rough against my wet skin as I wrapped it around my waist.

That’s when I caught my reflection, and I couldn’t look away.

There I was. The broad shoulders I’d been told were “basketball star” shoulders, the lean muscles carved from hours of practice and sweat, the strong arms that had once felt like my pride.

My chest rose and fell steadily beneath the faint shadow of a few days’ stubble. The towel hung low on my hips, teasing the hard planes of my abdomen, solid, defined, a promise of strength I wasn’t sure I felt inside.

There was something almost electric in the way my skin glistened with water droplets, the way my muscles tensed as I moved, the way the light caught the sharp angles of my jaw and collarbone.

For a moment, I let myself see what others might, someone who still had power, even when everything inside felt broken.

I ran my hand down my chest, feeling the heat lingering under my skin, a quiet reminder that even when I’m lost, this body can still hold me up.

It’s strange to feel so torn, vulnerable and strong, broken but still standing, messy but somehow magnetic.

I didn’t know how to fix any of it. I didn’t even know if I wanted to.

But I knew I couldn’t stay here, drowning in my own doubt.

My phone buzzed, cutting through the quiet.

A message from Tim in our group chat:

“Tonight’s the night. Bar’s waiting. Drinks on us. Let’s forget for a bit.”

Maybe tonight, I thought, I could let go.

Maybe tonight, the noise would fade.

Maybe tonight, I could just be me.

----NORTHSCAPE BAR----

The bar was dim, like a secret tucked away in the city’s ribcage. Neon signs flickered like half-hearted promises, buzzing above the wooden doorway that always seemed too narrow to let someone like me in without scraping some part of my soul on the frame.