Actions That We Can't Control | F.S #01

Prologue

Prologue

TW: Violence

𝘋𝘰𝘯'𝘵 𝘣𝘦 𝘢 𝘥𝘪𝘴𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘤𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘰𝘶𝘳 𝘧𝘢𝘮𝘪𝘭𝘺.

That line has echoed in my head for as long as I can remember.

It was my father who first told me that—stern, proud, always carrying his Bible like it was an extension of his own soul. A pastor in our local church, highly respected, feared even. Growing up, I wasn't just his son. I was the pastor's son. Which meant no mistakes, no wrong steps, no sinful behavior. I was expected to be flawless. I wasn't just carrying my own name—I carried his pride, his image, his reputation.

And believe me, in a family like ours, image is everything.

My family is deeply religious. Bible verses were our lullabies, church services our weekend routine. But more than that—they're also hypocrites. Nagdarasal sila, sumasamba sa Diyos, pero pagkalabas ng simbahan? Ang bilis manghusga, ang bilis manduro. They preach forgiveness, yet cannot forgive their own blood. They say God is love, but there's no love in how they treat people who don't fit their mold.

I was only six when everything started to make sense. That's when I first saw what happens when you go against the script.

"Putangina! Jace, bakla ka!" his father, uncle Jaspher shouted

Kasalukuyan kaming nasa sala at prenteng nakaupo sa sofa habang si Kuya Jace ay nasa sahig at habang nakayuko at nakaluhod sa ama. Meanwhile Tito Jaspher is standing infront of his son and beating him up.

No one moved, no one dared to stop him, and I couldn't understand, why wasn't anyone doing anything? He's your son, I wanted to scream. He's your family! But I was just a child. What power did I have?

Kuya's eyes were swollen, his lip cracked and bleeding, but he wasn't wiping it off. Maybe he was too tired. Or maybe he was already used to bleeding in silence.

"P-Pa. . . I'm sorry," he weeps "I tried to like the girls you wanted for me but I can't feel anything towards them! Hindi ko sila magawang mahalin gaya ng pagmamahal ko kay Prime."

That name was the final spark that lit the fire.

Agad na nagsalubong ang kilay ni Tito sa narinig, hinawakan nito sa kwelyo ang anak at bago muling sinapak, "Ano kamo? Mahal mo si Prime? Pinatawag ko pa ang buo nating pamilya para ipagsigawan mong bading ka!"

Nilibot ko ang aking paningin sa buong salas, my parents are beside me, sitting while our other relatives were on the other side of the sofa. Rinig na rinig ko ang bulungan ng mga ito sa pangyayaring nakikita.

Kuya Jace was the kindest cousin I had. He was trembling, Kuya Jace wasn't the loudest or the most open, but he was warm. He made everyone laugh, played guitar at every birthday party, helped me with schoolwork when I got confused. Everyone liked him—until that day.

All it took was one truth.

Is it really a sin? To love someone?

Some are disgusted, saying that he's a disgrace to our family. Naturingang anak ng pastor ay may gusto sa lalaki, kesyo mag dadala raw ito ng kamalasan sa pamilya. Ang ilan naman ay nagsasabing bagay lang ito sakanya dahil dinudungisan niya ang aming angkan at nilabag niya ang nakasulat sa banal na aklat. Sino nga ba naman ang mag aakala?

The son of a pastor, in love with a man—how dare he?

Kung kanina ay lungkot ang nakikita sa mukha ni Kuya Jace, ngayon ay iba na. Galit na ang sumakop sakanya, kung kaya't nasapak niya si Tito. "Bakit, Pa?! Sino ba ang nagsabi sa'yong papuntahin sila rito! Para ano?! Para ipahiya ako?!"