Mindful

Chapter One

Breath, just breath, I told myself as I was taking the last steps toward the new school. I wasn't exactly the biggest fan of changes so when my parents told me that they have found a house on the other side of the city I was furious with them for thinking that they can just do whatever they want even when it includes me. I didn't talk with them for weeks, first they tried to convince me that moving is a great idea and that I'm going to love the new place. I didn't know why but my parents seemed desperate for us to move, so in the end I agreed with them. But one of the things they didn't tell me was that I'll have to switch schools...

stop being so paranoid, you're charming and smart. I'm 100% sure you're gonna do great a well-known reassuring voice in my head said, a small smile formed on my lips.
Call me crazy but here is the thing, for as long as I can remember I was never alone, at least not in my head. There has always been Lucas, he was always with me, always supporting me and making everything a lot easier. We were there for each other. As crazy as it sounds it is true. When I was younger I used to talk about him all the time, at first my mum thought that I've gotten myself an imaginary friend (she read some article somewhere that the children with no sibling often create imaginary friends so they aren't lonely), but after some time she started doubting and when I finally told her that Lucas was a boy inside of my head who would talk with me and comfort me, she almost sent me to a psychologist, I don't really know how I convinced her that I'm okay but after that I stopped talking about Lucas completely. When I got older I started to find it really weird and I didn't understand it. I talked with Lucas about it and we came to a conclusion that we're not really living in each-others minds, rather than that we are two people. Two individuals, with their own bodies, own personalities, own lives, who are somehow connected on spiritual level. Neither of us had any idea how was this possible, I did my research, I looked in the library, surfed the net but I couldn't find anything useful. In the end we just decided to stop overthinking it and just let it be- whatever it is. I liked having Lucas but sometimes it was hard, there was no privacy, whatever I was thinking or experiencing he would feel it just as strongly as I would and vica versa. Through time we somehow learned to build some walls between the two of us. The feelings were too hard to control, especially the extreme ones-fear, excitement, passion... but both of us have gotten pretty good at not directly showing each other our thoughts, it was way easier this way; plus we started to grow more and more apart. He was still there for me when I really needed him but a few years ago he was the only person I would "talk" to, now we could go days without any conversation at all.
I sighed and finally realized where I actually was. I looked at the huge building in front of me. It looked ancient, completely different from my old school which was one of the most modern schools in the states. Anxiety started growing inside of me again. At my old school I wasn't exactly one of those IT girls, those who everyone adored and tried to be. I had my own circle of friends and that was fine with me- I never needed more. But the thought that I will have to rebuild everything, that I won't know anyone was more than just terrifying. I tried really hard to shake it off but I just couldn't. I took one last glance at the enormous building; let's just hope I survive this. I entered it and instantly felt extremely lost. If the building looked huge on the outside it looked like a damn maze in the inside. I had no idea where to go, I started to regret not letting my mother to come with me. I was just standing there, looking around like a complete idiot when suddenly a girl made her was towards me. She absolutely failed to fit in with the whole sophisticated, classical look of the school. Her hair was screaming red, her whole outfit was not the kind of things you wear to school, but she still looked nice. "You new here?" I shrugged my shoulders "Yeah, that's probably pretty obvious" I tried to put a smile on my face but I was failing, the nerves were getting the best of me. "well you pretty much are the only person standing in front of the entrance who is timidly looking around herself" she smiled and stretched out her hand "I'm Lexie" "I'm Sophia" I said while shaking her hand. "Do you happen to know where the administration office is? I still have to register myself and get my timetable" I really hoped she was willing to show me where it was, at this point I don't think I would be able to find anything on my own- even with the best set of instructions. Luckily for me Lexie immediately turned around and indicated for me to follow her. "So how do you like the city so far?" she was really trying hard to make me feel welcomed and I was extremely happy that I ran into her. "well you know I just got here last week and I had a lot of work with unpacking everything and decorating my room so it feels more homely, so I haven't exactly had the time to go around the city just yet but I plan to" I lied. The only thing I planned to do when I get home was to lay down on my bed, put some loud music on and do absolutely nothing. She looked at me and rolled her eyes "Don't waste your time; nothing much to see here. This school is the only important thing around here and believe me you're gonna get fed up with it real quick. As for everything else around here, there's nothing you haven't seen before. Though the guys around here are pretty hot" she winked at me and I could feel myself blushing, I've never really had a serious boyfriend, it was just too weird- physically being with someone, but being mentally connected with someone else. It was pretty much the perfect recipe for a big disaster; one I had no intention experiencing. Lexie kept making small talk and I was actually really enjoying it, she was an easy person to talk to. I was trying to imagine how odd we look together-her whole appearance was screaming for attention and then there was me. I knew I wasn't ugly but I also didn't live in an illusion that I was modelling beautiful. My hair was completely straight and a really dark shade of blonde, my eyes were big and green and I was really tiny... my comparison between the two of us was cut short when all of the sudden Lexie stopped and showed on the massive door." Everything you need is behind this door. The whole thing will probably take a while 'cause they're really old-fashioned and have this protocol and stuff so you probably won't be done before the lunch break. The cafeteria is just down the hall from here so I guess I'll see you then; bye" she smiled, turned on her heals and walked away. Gosh I really wish I had her kind of self-confidence. I wasn't as nervous as before but I still needed to hear someone reassure me that everything's gonna be fine. Lucas, why am I such a chicken? He replied instantly Soph, you're not a chicken, I don't think there is a single person that wouldn't be nervous in your situation. His voice was so calm, anytime he would speak I felt so sure of myself, as if I could face anything. Thanks Lucas, I'm going to get myself registered now, wish me luck. He was sending me so much positive energy; Kick ass Soph, tell me how it all went later. With those words still echoing in my head I walked into the office.