Letters To My Heart Breaker.

letter 11

8:18 Houston time.

dear brandon. 

i don't think i can get any crazier.

I've bee on this plane for EIGHT HOURS. 

my eyes are permanently open. i don't think i could sleep if i tried.

the hum of the plane is getting to my head, i think the man in the cabin/box thing next to me is staring at me.

i shouldn't say cabin, more like a cubical. 

i'm starting to become claustrophobic, or how ever you spell it.

there is NO TEMPERATURE in this plane. 

no wind

no smell

No. Air.

if i could be anywhere right now, id bee on my shed, with the breeze in my hair, and the smell of grass, the sun on my face....

not here.

by the end of this flight, you may need to recommend me for an insane asylum.

if i could talk with out the flight lady getting mad at me, i would yell at the top of my lungs, “DEAR LORD GET ME OUT OF HERE!!!”

i think in about an hour, ill be a brain-dead shell of a girl.

plus, i cant help thinking about my friends.

WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITHOUT YOU GUYS?!?!?!?!?!?

i'm a mental break down in the making.

literally.

i think if one more lady hands me an apple juice, im gunna lose it.

you’re the only thing that kept me out of the principals office in Tomball.

except that one time nana got mad at us.

but still.

all i keep thinking is “theres never gunna be another brandon”

 and “who am i gunna talk to with out Ta?”

and, “who's gunna make me smile without hayley?”

great.

 now i'm crying.

you know that look that fish have on their faces when you first take them off the hook?

that MABY-IF-I-STARE-AT-YOU-LIKE-IM-STUPID-YOU’LL-PUT-ME-BACK-IN-THE-WATER look?

thats the look thats stuck on my face.

except now i'm crying like a baby.

God save me.

this sucks.

why cant they just turn the pane around and take me home?

i wanna go home.....

i wanna be able to go out side and pet my puppies.

or call tatiana and talk about random stuff.

or spend the day running thru drain pipes with Hayley

or call you and ask for a ride to rock band, and then hang out at your house.

i wanna hold your hand.

thats it. 

that did it.

i have completely lost it. 

i'm incapable of thinking, so i'm just kinda typing what would normally stay in my head.

im gunna come back in a year, and we wont be as close of friends as we are now.

and you wont want me to come over.

and you wont hug me goodbye.

and you wont hold my hand. 

it took four years to get you to do that.

for nothing.

i really hate myself right now.

im probably boring you to death,

so ill just cry on my own now.

ttyl, 

       -Jynn