My heart stopped when I found out. When the word's came out of my best friends mouth, telling me what he did when I didn't pay attention. How his hands wrapped around her thinner waist and how he brushed away her lighter hair and how he kissed her soft, porcelain skin. All when I wasn't looking. My heart stopped when I realised it must have been my fault, I obviously brought it on by not being his dream girl, or not living up to his expectations as he lifted her up with ease but dragged me down even more effortlessly.
I remember leaving in silence, forgetting about the exam I had that day, because at the time it wasn't that important. And I remember her running behind me, telling me she thought I knew because I was blind enough to let it happen in the same room as my mind was absorbed in the pages of a novel. I remember my other friend, following me and as she caught up with me, she embraced me in to a hug I appreciated the most as I finally snapped. I remember the tears falling on to her burgundy blazer as my breath became short and my mind was full.
On any other day, nobody would care. Nobody at all. But on that day, people treat me like a goddess - after all, how else would you treat a girl with eyeliner smudged across her face and tears reddening her face, clumsily falling down the school stairs on to the first floor? I soon was surrounded by people who had never gave me a second look while I was smiling but who were now embracing me into a hug as I sobbed into their shoulders. And on that day, the amount of compliments I received made me feel sweet, so sweet to the point that I felt nauseous.
And I remember at break, people asking me to spend the time with them, in sympathy most likely as the warm May air hit my face and I actually felt alive as I was surrounded by laughter and others actually paying attention to me. Girls hugged me more often and people found my sarcastic remarks hysterical and everyone was supportive. It was almost like being with him made me less of a human and I had finally been set free into the actual world.
The same at lunch, but lunch was better. The boy with the freckles stood before me, kissing my cheek and embracing me into a hug as I held him tight and he told me I was worth more than I knew and I seemed to only accept the love I thought I deserved but I deserved the world. And those words caught me when I fell.
The only thing I didn't know was that I'd be falling for him.
YOU ARE READING
Forever and Always
RomanceA collection of my thoughts, I would call it poetry, but it simply isn't.
