100 theme fanfiction challenge!! QUEEN !!

6.break away- i want to break free

Freddie's heart pounded as he threw up into the toilet, his head was hurting and his heart felt as though any moment it would pop out of his chest. He didn't know how to tell the other's he couldn't keep a meal down....he didn't know how to tell them he didn't like himself, in fact he hated himself.
In his head the only thoughts he ever had were negative, thoughts that put himself down or made other people seem perfect. Every time he looked in the mirror he would see a figure and face that was totally ugly, something he couldn't stand to look at and so desperately wanted to change, yet he didn't know how.
In his eyes he was fat and ugly and something no-body could ever love. To summarise what he thought...he hated himself and everything about him.
The characteristics and features others loved about him, he hated. His overbite made him feel like some sort of animal... yet others thought it made him cuter. He thought he was fat, yet he had the skinniest frame, one which many people envied. He hated the way he looked, yet he had an amazing jaw line and perfect bone structure, his cheeks were amazing and everyone again envied him for that.
Yet he didn't see what others saw. Whilst others saw a fantastic beautiful man, he saw an ugly figure that he called himself.
He had been sat next to the toilet bowl for the last five minutes dry heaving, he now had nothing left in his stomach to bring up. His face was now red and his eyes blotchy from the crying that had now been taking place for the past few minutes. His cheeks were stained with tears and he wished it would all go away. He wish he could break free from this curse he felt he was under, the feeling of never being happy with yourself and hating yourself from the bottom of your heart.
A knock on the bathroom door was what pulled Freddie from his thoughts. He immediately wiped his eyes and sniffed, his voice shaking as he spoke
"Yes?" his voice quiet
"Freddie please open up, we're worried about you" Roger spoke from the other side of the door
"No...I don't want anyone to come in, I'm a mess" Freddie replied, he could here many sighs on the other side of the door. Moment later a soft voice sounding....
"Freddie please open the door, let me in its only me, the others have gone to the kitchen" john said, his voice soft and encouraging.
Freddie reached up from the floor and unlocked the door, pulling it ajar just to signal to john that he could come in.
John stepped into the bathroom, closing the door behind him and crouching down next to a still crying Freddie. John was surprised to see Freddie in such a state and his heart broke at the sight of him crying.
"Freddie what's wrong?" john asked, rubbing Freddie's back softly
"I...I...i... hate myself" Freddie sniffed
"What, why do you hate yourself?" john asked, shocked that such a brilliant and beautiful man could hate himself.
"I...I'm  ...ugly and fat... and I don't know how anyone could love me...i hate how I look and who I am" Freddie sniffed, pausing whenever he did
"Freddie you are not ugly or fat. Many people envy you, you are beautiful not matter what you say"
"I'm not john...I'm fat and ugly"
"Freddie the only thing you are is under weight and that's because you can't hold a meal down. And that's caused by this fake image you have of yourself. In no way are you fat and you are defiantly not ugly. Your smile is beautiful and your sparkling eyes could brighten up anyone's day"
"Do... do you really mean that?" Freddie said, a smile now slowly creeping onto his face. No-body had ever complimented him so much in one sentence. They had never said anything as sweet as that towards him before and he could feel his heart melting as each seconded ticked by.
"I really mean that...and for the part of no-body ever going to love you, well I can tell you you're wrong. Cause I love you with all my heart" john whispered, gently pecking Freddie on his lips.
"I love you too john" Freddie said softly, feeling happy for one moment. But that soon changed, and again he was feeling sad and the feeling of hate over ruled him.
"John...I don't like this. I don't like not being happy, I don't like constantly doubting my appearance" Freddie sniffed; the tears begin to roll down his cheeks again.
"Shhu, don't worry we will get through this" john soothed, pulling Freddie in for a well needed hug
"John I want to break free, I want to be free of this hate"
"I know, you will, we will do it together"
Freddie had a feeling inside of him, a feeling that he hadn't felt for a while, it was one of hope. He knew that sooner rather than later he would break away of this feeling of hate and doubt. He would be the happy guy he used to be, the guy that loved life and lived it to the full...he just had to break free of the curse that was set upon him, the image he had set of himself.