safe place- muke af [on hold]

one

**please read** there are some trigger warnings for this book, including ptsd, depression, suicidal thoughts, and self harm. please please please don't read this if you're going to be triggered. lowercase intended.

one+

"today's gonna be a good day, guys. i can feel it."

"you can feel it, cal?" luke asked, smirking at his attending officer.

"that's lieutenant to you, hemmings." calum said, his voice light and joking.

"whatever, hood, it's only a good day if i get a letter from michael." luke said, looking up at his best friend. calum and luke had known each other for barely seven months, ever since luke was shipped out to afghanistan. even though their rankings were completely different, calum was the only one who ever showed luke a speck of kindness when he first got there, and he was the only other openly gay soldier in their unit. sure, he'd grown to be friends with some of the other soldiers, but calum was the only one who didn't tell luke to 'grow a pair' when he cried himself to sleep for the first few weeks. cal just glared at anyone who said that, and told them off for being both heartless and completely sexist.

"when was the last time you heard from him?" jack, one of the guys luke was now pretty close with, asked.

luke looked up at jack, shielding his eyes from the blinding sun. he lowered his eyes again after a second, digging the toe of his boot into the sand and gripping at his pants. luke sighed before mumbling, "may."

"two months? dude, that sucks." jack said, sitting down next to luke and gently nudging his shoulder.

"thanks, jack. you always know just what to say."

calum and jack both let out a laugh, and calum came and sat on the other side of luke. "barakat's always had a way with words. you'll hear from michael soon, luke. don't worry."

luke shrugged. "i don't blame him for not writing that much, honestly. i didn't even tell him i was applying for the military, not until after i got in. and it was- it was just immensely bad timing. i get it. i just- i feel lonely, y'know? you guys are great, and i feel like i'm doing something important, defending my country and stuff, but i miss him, and it kills me that he doesn't miss me as much as he's angry at me."

calum opened his mouth to respond, but someone yelled something that luke couldn't understand. luke jumped up, but before he could take a step, he was knocked down by something hitting his shoulder, and then everything went black.

+

luke woke up choking. there was something in his throat, and he couldn't breath. he tried to lift his arms to pull out whatever it was, but it wouldn't budge. he could feel his cheeks being soaked with tears as he fought for air, and hoarse screams left his throat. through his blurry vision he could see people rushing to stand over him, and to his relief, someone, a woman, pulled whatever was blocking his airway out. luke took deep breaths, attempting to calm himself down.

"luke hemmings," the woman said, and as luke calmed down and became more aware of his surroundings, he noticed the woman was in a white coat, dark blue scrubs underneath. "i'm doctor mcdougall." luke's heart beat started to slow down, but he was still shaken up. "how are you feeling?"