To Save a Heart

Chapter 11

I gasped in surprise at the sudden attack. His arms wrapped around my waist hauling me to my feet and pulling me against him. My needle and thread along with my sewing project fell to the floor without a thought as I flung my arms around his neck. I felt myself melting into a puddle on that kitchen floor as his lips moved against mine.

Then all too suddenly it was over. I tried not to pout when he pulled away and he chuckled at my expression. But my hands were still in his hair so I brought him back down to my level.

The girls were in the other room but they didn't matter. Lori could walk in at any second but she didn't matter either. All that mattered was the here and now.

'This is wrong' my brain broke through the haze of the moment. 'You are giving him false hope.' I broke off the kiss and breathlessly took a step back. In the firelight his eyes were dancing as he looked at me. He looked guilty beyond all description and devilishly handsome. But this was wrong. This moment of utter joy and excitement was something that couldn't ever happen again.

He smiled his wicked grin at me and took a step forward. I backed up afraid of the flames that consumed me when he pulled me close.

"This can't happen again." I whispered.

"What can't happen?"

"You can't kiss me like that."

"Me kiss you?"

"Yes, you kissed me first." I said weakly.

He smiled in reply and shook his head back and forth. Then he gestured to his hair which was probably just about as messed up as mine. The way I had shoved my fingers through it feeling the softness of it. I shook my head trying to ignore the direction my thoughts were going. His smile grew as though he could sense the direction of my thoughts. He took a step towards me.

"This can't happen again." I said weakly as I reached for him one more time. Feeling his arms around me pulling me close for just one last kiss.

§

I had successfully managed to avoid him all day despite his attempts to confront me. I knew what the confrontation would end in. Probably me in his arms clinging to him as if my life depended on it. And that couldn't happen. No matter how much I wished for it, longed for it even. I dodged out into the barn and leaned against the back of the door as Rylan walked by.

I couldn't hear him anymore so I stepped away from the door. The bucket in my hand dropped against the floor as I sat down to milk the cow. The easy rhythmic pace of the milk squirting into the bucket was calming and let me think. I wanted to tell Rylan who I was. These secrets were exhausting and I missed my old name. I wanted to be Saphrine again.

"You have to tell him." I whispered to myself. "But how?" I leaned my head against the cow as the pail slowly filled. "Why do things have to be so difficult?"

"What's difficult?" Rylan asked appearing from thin air right behind me.

I jumped nearly kicking the bucket with my foot. "Nothing." I said quickly. A bit too quickly.

"You can tell me."

I shook my head back and forth then looked up at him with a smile plastered on my face. "There's nothing to tell."

He shrugged and bent down to pick up the bucket of milk to prevent me from knocking it over. I took his offered hand and stood up. "Something has been bothering you lately."

§

Later that day Celia bounded over. Her hair was down her back in carefully styled ringlets. Her dress was new and accented her every curve. I was out in the yard picking up the laundry that had blown off the line.

"There she is!" Celia practically shouted bouncing up and down extending a long finger to point at me accusingly. Rylan bent down to pick up the sheet that had blown away and handed it to me.

"What are you doing here Celia?" Rylan asked making no move to disguise his tone of voice.

"Oh you'll see." She giggled then rushed forward to stand next to him. "Come with me you have to see this." She looped her arm around his and hauled him forward with her. He tried to shake her but she dug in tighter. "Come on Mary!" she hollered at me and I sighed. Rylan looked back at me with a confused expression then went with her after freeing his arm from her grip. I followed them and they came to a stop.

"What is this?" Rylan asked looking at Celia. I joined them at the small ridge that over looked the town. Down below me was a sea of silver. Men in armor standing at attention. The last rays of sunlight were reflection off of their breastplates.

I froze recognizing my men.

"Queen Saphrine." They all said in unison. Then they hit the ground with a knee and dropped their heads low.

"Don't you have some explaining to do 'queen Saphrine'?" Celia asked looking a me. I had no words to express my horror.

"What's she talking about Maria?" Rylan asked looking at me with confusion.

My mouth opened and closed as I stood there on that ridge feeling as though the ground was collapsing beneath me. I didn't know how to explain that what he hated most in the world was sharing his roof and table.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I'll tell you!" Celia positively bubbled. "This girl." she waggled her finger at me. "Mariah, is actually a queen."

With that Rylan burst out laughing. He couldn't get ahold of himself as he shook with laughter.

Celia gave an exasperated sigh. "I'm telling you, it's true."

I still hadn't found the words to speak up for myself. Instead I stood there frantically wracking my brain for something to say. At the sound of footsteps behind me I turned to see a soldier approaching. My throat went dry and my blood stopped pumping in my veins.

"My queen." He said bowing low. "You look well."

"Thank you."

"Parson said you were dead."

"Then I look good for a dead girl."

"Yes you do." He chuckled.

The silence behind me interrupted our conversation. I turned and faced them. Rylan's face was a mask as he stared at me.

"Rylan." I said walking towards him. He took a step back and for a moment I saw all the hurt in his eyes.

"Don't speak to me." He said turning away.

"Wait!" I cried after him. "Let me explain!"

"Why? so you can feed me more lies? you must think me quite the fool. Just the worthless peasant that you can use." He spat.

"I didn't mean to use you." I said looking down at the ground.

"Did you mean to make me fall in love with you?" he whispered so quietly I wasn't sure I heard him correctly. "Good bye Maria. Or Saphrine. Whoever you really are." I watched him turn away. Celia raced after him.

"What a liar." She crooned looking back at me with a scowl. She reached over to loop her arm around his shoulders and he didn't shrug her off like usual.

"My queen." The soldier said extending his arm. "We have your horse."

"What about my uncle?"

"He has been overthrown."

"What?"

"By prince Percival."

Percival? Percival. I knew that name. My mind raced. How did I know that name? my mind directed me to a handsome face with kind blue eyes.

"My queen?"

"Yes. I'm on my way." I turned for one last glance. What would Rebecca and Susan think of me leaving without a goodbye. I hoped they wouldn't be angry with me. I had made a mess of things. And I had no idea how to fix it.