Anxiety Aspirations ||CB FanFic || Major Editing. On Hold

I.

"I been ignoring this big lump in my throat. I shouldn't be crying, tears were for the weak.
The days I'm stronger, know what, so I say, That's something missing.
Whatever it is, it feels like it's laughing at me through the glass of a two-sided mirror.
Whatever it is, it's just sitting there laughing at me,
And I just wanna scream"

|| Rihanna- what now ||

Desta Evans

I slowly walked into the building I call hell on earth, known as High School. Trembling in fear, as I slowly walk to my locker. Feeling all eyes on me, making my whole body flutter in anxiousness. It's hard being me, when freshman's look down on you. I'm a senior and I feel like an minority.
Wearing bagging sweats didn't bring a lot of attention, which I loved.
I've finally made it to my locker, grabbing my books for my classes. I kept my head down, avoiding eye contact.
"Oh my god, why are you still here. Didn't I tell you to kill yourself" her voice ringed through my ear. Automatically knowing who the voice of the devil belonged to. Amanda
She's the main reason why I hate my life. She tortures me everyday, just to make herself look good. She thinks its hysterical seeing me in pain. That's the main reason why she is the devil in disguise.

"I-I" I tried to speak, but began stuttering over my words. I was afraid if I said the wrong thing, she would hurt me.
"Awe dumb ass don't know how to use words" she stated, with an evil smile. Her words cut me, like someone was stabbing me continuously. They hurt me to the core, and the funny thing is, they were just words.

Sticks and stones may break my bones,
but they will soon heal.
The words you say everyday,
will remind me why I shouldn't live.

By now everybody in the hallway was looking in our direction. Some people laughing, others saying how weak I am for not standing up for myself. I totally agree, I am weak.
I began slowly having an panic attack. Knowing everybody was talking about me, scared me to death. The Anxiety was eating me alive, and no one cared.
"Get the fuck out of my presence, cunt" he voice, higher than normal. She slammed my body against the locker. She kicked me in my stomach, almost making me hurl. The pain rapidly shot up my arm when it made contact with the metal. I whimpered in pain, holding back my cries. She smiled down on me, proud of her action.
"Maybe you'll take my offer, and disappear"
She walked away, strutting down the hallway as if she was on the red carpet. I hated her with a passion. I've never hated someone as much as I hate her. She wants to tear me apart, she uses words to break me down. And it's damn sure working. Everyday, I don't want to wake up in the morning. Because I don't want to face her. I don't want to feel pain. I hate it

I began hyperventilating, gasping for air. My body shook viciously. I felt like the whole word was about to collapse. Everybody in the hallway left, leaving me by myself. Suffering.
Tears slowly streaming down my face. I couldn't move, my body didn't let me. I began feeling dizzy, loosing my sight slowly.
"Hey! Are you okay, oh no." I hear an unfamiliar voice. Sounding as he was male. He came to me, looking it to my eyes. My vision became an blur. I couldn't make out there persons face, but I knew I've never seen him before. I knew it was a boy, but from his structured cheek bones, I would guess it was an man.
I couldn't stop hyperventilating. I was having an anxiety attack. It's hard to control my body, so I felt the world spinning. Until I finally blacked out.

I woke up to a very bright room. It was hard for my eyes to adjust to the lighting. Once I finally did, I realized I was in the nurses office.
"Ahh, Desta sweetie, you're awake" Nurse, Barnes spoke.
"How long have I've been, sleep?" I asked, my voice soft. My throat was very dry.
"You've been sleep almost all day, but you needed the rest. You're under a lot of stress, you're anxiety is very overwhelming. Is something happened at home?"