Hello hello! It's been awhile, this has really been stuck on my mind for some time; so I thought it might be a good idea to kind of, vent? Please know there's probably lots of grammar mishaps and such but please ignore it! ;))
I don't think I want to be friends with my best friend anymore.
We bicker and argue all the time, and she always says and does things that just make me angry.
We get along sometimes, but then she just says certain things; basically, she'll go too far.
I'm always my true self with her and she can be a good friend. She's funny and kind, but I don't think I want to be as close with her anymore.
I have anger issues, but I don't like how I feel when I get angry. I get shaky, nervous, and I just don't feel like myself. So when she is constantly getting on my nerves, I can't stand it.
She always has to be right, she will always make herself the victim. She's always guilt tripping me by saying stuff like, "Would Jesus do that?" "Does the Bible say that?" "Then don't do that." She says she wants to be my "accountability" but patronizing me is not helping me in any way.
There was something she did a long time ago, it really shook me to my core. I can't forget it, and I don't think I ever will. That day, I saw red. I felt like I was going to explode from my overwhelming anger. I don't think I've ever been that angry, and it wasn't that I was just angry. I was upset that she would even say something like that.
I don't remember exactly what happened, but I will try to recite for you as best as I can.
It was at summer camp, I had been wearing this cap. Her and my other friend stole it and were throwing it around and wouldn't give it back. So the next day, it was just me and her, we were waiting in line for breakfast. Teasingly, I knocked her hat off her head, I thought it was funny. Payback for yesterday, not in a mean way, but a joking, friend way. She did not think so, she immediately got upset. She said I had hit her nose, and had done it on purpose. Which was such a childish and trivial thing. Of course, we begin to argue back and forth, when she says, "You haven't been yourself lately! If there's something going on at home, you should pray about it."
How dare she? I couldn't believe it. How dare she accuse me of having troubles at home? Even if I were that would be a completely inappropriate way of talking about it.
Not only that, but that I should pray about it? I couldn't believe it. I yelled at her, I said, "How dare you! I can't believe you would say that! You don't get to tell me what I need to pray about!" I saw red, rage filled me. Then our friends came, and we stopped. I didn't say anything to her for the rest of the day.
Until, she told all our friends about it and twisted the story so that I would look like the villain. So every second they were telling me that I should just apologize. I was completely upset, apologize? She insulted me, for almost no reason! Of course I would be angry, if anyone should apologize it should be her!
Eventually I did apologize, but, I won't forget. I know I should, but she still does things like that every day. How can I stay friends with someone like that?
I don't know.
That's it! That's my little vent, hope you enjoyed!
Good morning, good evening, good day, buenas dias, good night, and all the things!
