Acceptance

A Choice Made

Kalyn was sitting in one of the chairs by the front window, watching anxiously for Anselm and Micah. They had been at Isaac’s house for nearly half an hour. Kalyn knew in her heart something was wrong, but her mind kept up a torrent of hope.

Maybe they can’t find Mama. Maybe she just went crazy with grief and ran away. They’re probably calling people right now, looking for her. They’ll call all of the hospitals, too—even the ones in Knoxville.

What if they’re on the phone with the police, filling out a missing person’s report?

Or… maybe she’s there, but she doesn’t want to come home. After Daddy died, she wanted to be alone; she didn’t even want to get out of bed. Maybe they’ve been trying to get her to get up.

Finally, she saw Anselm and Micah emerge from the house. Anselm squinted in the bright sunlight, then slowly, purposefully, walked towards Kalyn’s house—Micah in his wake.

Kalyn clutched the arm of the chair, burying her fingers into the upholstery. She looked down, trying to pay attention to the pattern in the fabric. How odd—the flowers were a true pink up close; they had always looked salmon-colored from a distance.

Anselm and Micah entered the house without knocking. Kalyn didn’t look up.

There was a soft hand on her back, then Anselm knelt beside her. He covered her hands with his and leaned into her, his head against her arm.

“I want you to know three things, Kalyn. Will you listen to me?”

She opened her mouth, but her breath caught in her lungs and no sound came out. Instead, she gave a quick, jerky nod of assent.

“One, this is not your fault.” Kalyn closed her eyes tightly, but he continued. “Two, your mother loved you. You were the one thing she wanted most out of life.”

The knot in her chest—which had been swelling and tightening since she had discovered her mother was missing—jerked so tight that it shattered, releasing a flood of tears.

She didn’t know how it happened, but she found herself in the floor with Anselm. He held her in his lap like a child and gently rocked her as she sobbed.

Her mother loved her? She was what her mother wanted most out of life? If that was true, then why did she abandon her? Where was she supposed to live, now that everyone was moving away? Who was going to see her graduate next year? What about college? Who was going to help her plan her wedding and walk her down the aisle? She had no one anymore. No one.

“Kalyn,” Anselm said quietly, as her tears began to wind down, “do you remember what I told you about being Yaechahre?”

Kalyn shook her head; she couldn’t think about anything but the aching hole in her chest… and in her life.

“You are not alone,” Anselm said. “As long as you’re Yaechahre, you will never be alone, and you will never want for a place to live or food to eat. We will take care of you.”

He softly stroked her hair. “If you want to go to Chicago with your Aunt Norma, you can; I know you have family up there. But… you can stay with me and Micah, if you prefer.”

Kalyn stared up at him in disbelief, then she threw her arms around his neck, hugging him tightly—fresh tears rolling down her face.

“Kalyn,” he said quietly.

She didn’t respond.

“Kalyn,” he repeated, trying to gently pry her arms away, “you’re strangling me, dearest.”

“Sorry,” she said, letting go of him.

He gave her a little smile. “I don’t breathe as much as a human, but it is still rather necessary.

She managed to smile a little in return. “Sorry,” she repeated.

Micah appeared a moment later with a box of tissues. She climbed out of Anselm’s lap and turned her back on them while she wiped her face dry and blew her nose. Finally, when she felt more-or-less composed, she turned back to face them.

“Kalyn,” Anselm said, looking serious again, “before you decide where you want to go, I want you to hear me out. Micah and I are going to hunt down Isaac’s murderer and find Ciaran, if at all possible. We may be in some dangerous situations and we may have to move around a lot. Hopefully this won’t take too long, but if it stretches into fall, you will have to settle somewhere and go to school; we will not keep you out of school. Understood?”

Kalyn nodded.

“Rose and Jeremy are going to Knoxville,” he continued. “If you want to come back here for school, I’m sure Rose would be happy to work something out.”

“But… you wouldn’t be gone for good, would you?”

“No, just until we’ve done what we set out to do—or until we can’t do anymore.”

“And then you’d come back?” She looked at him, then at Micah.

“Of course,” Micah answered. He knelt beside her and gently touched her hair. “You and Anselm are my family… all I have left. I won’t leave you unless you want me to.”

Kalyn hugged him, crying again. He hugged her tightly in return, whispering something in her ear. She didn’t understand the Hebrew, but it took her back to all the times Isaac had blessed her.

Micah was right—they were family. He and Anselm both felt more like family than her Aunt Norma did. She had really only known her aunt for five years; she had known Micah and Anselm all her life.

“Kalyn,” Anselm interrupted, “I can’t emphasize strongly enough that things may be hard with us. It may be weeks—or even months—before we settle down again. And things may be dangerous. Not that Micah and I won’t guard you with our lives, but you need to know….”

She turned to look at him. “Don’t you think it’s pretty dangerous where we are right now? How much worse can it be somewhere else?”

“She’s got a point,” Micah said.

Anselm frowned. “God help us all,” he said unhappily.