cellular sentiment ꨄ ceedee lamb

ꨄ v

"i need you."

be there soon baby get ready'

your heart raced as you realized what was happening. you had been sitting in your car for five minutes since you had got off the phone and watched as cedarians location began to move rapidly in your direction. the response was one you could only hope would happen so why did you feel so anxious- so nervous.

you finally took heed to his message and got out of your car rushing inside as the rain pattered against your jacket. you hurriedly unlock the door sighing as you are inside and safe from the elements. you feel a deep sense of comfort in being home but that does nothing to keep the nervousness cedarians arrival at bay. 

kicking off your shoes you beeline to your bathroom turning on the shower and tossing your clothes aside. a moan escapes your lips as you step in and the warm water floods your body. it feels good as it rushes down your bosom and onto your stomach. It was always a sensation that was welcomed after a long day and in your case an even longer week. you let the water wash away all of the worries that it can as you begin to cleanse yourself. you decide that the occasion warrants an everything shower. you double cleanse, exfoliate layering vanilla scents on top of one another. you silently thank yourself for getting your waxes this week as you only have to shave your legs.

by the time you finish you had honestly forgotten about the fact that you were doing this for a visit from cee so as you sat on the bed and say that his location said he was sixteen minutes away you got the rush all over again yet this time it went directly to your center. you rub your thighs together and proceed to lotion yourself down locking in the moisture with body oil.  

you sit on the bed taking a moment to take deep breaths. you try not to let your mind wonder to much, but the effort is in vain.

what if put all my weight on him and hurt him. oh my God what if he see's me naked and doesn't get hard.

you do your best to push the negativity out remembering his words for earlier and the constant reassurance he had given you. 

he feels the same as I do- or at least that's what he says. he probably lying, he just wants to let me down in person.

the excitement of the occasion begins to fade as quickly as it came and dread filled the though of his arrival. you took of the robe you had and layed back on the bed crawling underneath the covers pulling them above your head.

you felt tears begin to stream down your cheeks and you squeezed your eyes shut. you just wanted to go to sleep.

i should have never answered that call, im just continuing to set myself up to be hurt.

you sighed as you got up throwing the covers from your body and slipped back into your robe marching to the front door to lock it feeling bad that he would come all this way for well nothing but you couldnt face him.

as you go to lock the door you feel it begin to push open and you panic putting all your weight on it and forcing it closed.

"what the fuck- baby its me let me in." you hear him call from the other side of the door.

"no-im sorry i shouldnt have told you to come." you say voice faltering off tears still streaming down your face.

"man what? just let me in we can talk in there its raining hard as fuck." he said annoyance evident in his voice.

"cedarian i cant d-" he pushes on the door and sends you tumbling back. you lock eyes with him and the tears begin to fall harder.

"baby whats wrong?" he says rushing towards you. his voice is soft as he wraps his arms around you.