A Spotlight Summer (Jack Gilinsky)

Chapter Forty

Jack POV

I couldn't shake the feeling. I couldn't get rid of the gnawing sensation that Kelsey was looking at me or talking about me or thinking about me. I convinced myself that she had to be doing one of the three, but every time I peaked at her from the corner of my eye, she was completely uninterested in me. I wasn't hurt or angry that she paid me no mind; in fact, I would much rather her not be here at all. Things have been extremely stressful lately-the combination of my best man duties, a more-than-usual menacing Fiona, and my boss breathing down my neck every five seconds was slowly swallowing me whole. I certainly didn't need to add ex-girlfriend and first love to the mix.

Kelsey complicated my life. She brought up old memories that I had worked very hard to bury. Not only did she remind me of the life I once had, but she reminded me of the life I could have had. Plus, her presence just made everything awkward. Despite knowing for certain that she had moved on from our past just as I had, I still found myself being hyper-aware of every move I made because I knew she would see it. I wasn't trying to impress her, per say. I just wanted to prove that I've changed from the jerk she broke up with when we were eighteen.

Seeing her for the first time in three years...I wanted to ask her questions. I wanted to know more than she told me in the bar. Did she like her roommate? Did she start her fellowship? Did she save anyone's life yet? Did she willingly cut her hair or did Jessa force her? Is she seeing anyone? Is her mom still crazy?

"Jack, it's time." I felt hands clamp down on my shoulders and recognized the voice to belong to my best friend. I hastily stood up for my seat, buttoned up my suit jacket, and headed toward the microphone in the back of the restaurant. I made sure to grab a champagne glass on my way up and managed to get everyone quiet. When I felt everyone's eyes on me, I spoke, "On behalf of Johnson and Fiona, I just want to thank everyone for coming tonight." I paused to let the applause die down and then continued, "I don't want to say too much, because my real speech will be at the reception, but the bride and groom did ask that I say a couple of words to kick off the night."

"That's my guy!" Fiona shouted from her seat. The room erupted into laughter and when Fiona saw Johnson's stunned face, she giggled and kissed his cheek.

I laughed along with the audience at my crazy best friend and then licked my lips in preparation to speak. "I have known Fiona and Johnson my entire life and I always knew, even when they were separated, that they would end up here one day. It's a privilege to watch how in love they are and we should all be so lucky to experience that at least once in our lives."

The movement was slight and quiet. Hardly noticeable, especially in a room of over a hundred people. My eye managed to catch her body rise even from all the way back here.

Remembering I had watchful eyes on me, I quickly ended my toast. "To Fiona and Johnson and their upcoming marriage." I raised my glass up and observed everyone do the same. I also saw Kelsey head into the bathroom.

I gave the crowd a winning smile, hugged my two best friends and then followed where Kelsey had walked. I have no idea why I did it. It's been three years. I didn't have a right or a reason to be following Kelsey anywhere. She made it perfectly clear at the bar that we were ancient history. And she's right, we were. There is no more Jack and Kelsey. I'm not irrational or delusional. She was leaving in four days. And it's been three years. It didn't stop me though from marching right into the bathroom after her to make sure she was all right.

What if she just has to pee, I thought. Ok, so I might be a little irrational.

I pushed open the door and saw her small frame draped over the sink. She didn't realize I was here yet and I took the opportunity to fully look at her. She stood, biting her lip, clearly in a silent argument with herself. One of her feet was out of her heel and placed lightly on top in an effort to find some comfort. She had a pink shade of lipstick on, different from her usual red. As evident by the small patch of skin shining through in between the two parts of her dress, she was tanner than I remember. She still had the same terrible posture and doe brown eyes. She was still gorgeous-even more so with her new hair than she was three years ago.