The film opens in a brightly lit, multi-camera sitcom style, complete with a laugh track. Kevin (a loud, obnoxious, overgrown frat boy) walks in, He wears a slightly wrinkled button-up and slacks—his "work clothes," though he barely does any actual work.)
KEVIN: (grinning) "Honey, I'm home!"
(Audience laugh track erupts as KEVIN tosses his keys onto a nearby table and dramatically spreads his arms like he just won the lottery.)
(ALLISON MCRoberts (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) stands at the kitchen counter, pouring herself a large glass of wine. She barely looks up.)
ALLISON: (flatly, unimpressed) "Oh, joy."
(More laughter from the nonexistent audience.)
(From the couch, NEIL (Sam Richardson) and NICK (Charlie Day) sit watching TV, beers in hand. Neil is halfway through a slice of pizza, while Nick is playing with the TV remote like a child who just discovered buttons exist.)
NEIL: (grinning) "Big Kev! What's got you cheesin' like that? Somebody finally recognize you as Employee of the Month?"
(Audience laughter. KEVIN dramatically waves a set of keys in the air.)
KEVIN: *"Boys, it's finally happening! My dream, my sanctuary, my happy place—THE KEV CAVE—is officially complete!"
(CUE CHEESY SITCOM MUSIC STING. More laughter.)
(NEIL and NICK exchange excited looks. ALLISON rolls her eyes and takes a long sip of her wine.)
NICK: (mock dramatic gasp) "Wait, wait, wait. You mean... you finally got the basement?"
(Kevin dramatically nods. The audience cheers like this is a major life accomplishment.)
KEVIN: "That's right! After months of negotiations with Her Royal Highness—" (gestures to Allison) "—I finally convinced my loving, supportive wife to let me have my own space."
(ALLISON scoffs, crossing her arms.)
ALLISON: "Negotiations? Kevin, I said 'I don't care, do whatever you want.' That's not a negotiation."
(Audience laughter.)
KEVIN: (ignoring her, giddy) "And it's PERFECT. 85-inch flat-screen TV, surround sound, fully stocked mini-fridge, foosball table—"
(Nick whistles in approval, nudging Neil.)
NICK: "Foosball? You're living like a king, man."
(More audience laughter. KEVIN starts miming foosball moves in excitement, making ridiculous sound effects as he "plays.")
KEVIN: "Oh, you know it, baby! And best of all? It's a strict No Wives Allowed zone."
(Audience "Ooooooh!" reaction. ALLISON rolls her eyes so hard she practically falls backward.)
ALLISON: (dryly) "Wow. My loss."
(More laughter. KEVIN claps his hands together, grinning ear to ear.)
KEVIN: "Neil, Nick, you gotta come see it! We're gonna break this place in RIGHT. Pizza, beers, foosball, and a Kevin Can Laugh marathon. It's gonna be legendary!"
(Audience cheers. NEIL and NICK immediately jump up, excited.)
NEIL: "Dude, hell yes! You got the good beer, right?"
KEVIN: (grinning) "I got beer so good it'll make you forget your own name."
(Audience laughter as NEIL and NICK fist-bump KEVIN. Meanwhile, MAX HUNTINGTON (Wyatt Russell), the quiet neighbor, walks past the open front door, barely noticed by anyone inside.)
YOU ARE READING
Helluva Guy (Helluva Boss x Autisic reader.)
AdventureBlitz, a classic demon Imp, sets out to run his own small assassin business with his weapons specialist Moxxie, his bruiser Millie, and his receptionist hellhound Loona. Together, they attempt to survive each other while running a start-up in Hell.
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