Red Lipstick

It's called destiny

Karolina woke with a jolt in the middle of the night, her breath shallow as if escaping from a dream she couldn't quite remember. Her eyes flickered to the glowing numbers on her nightstand clock: 3:00 a.m. Again. It was the fifth time this week. The rhythmic snoring from John beside her confirmed he was blissfully unaware of her restlessness. She envied him—his ability to drift into slumber without a second thought, while her mind raced with questions she couldn't answer.

Slipping out of bed, careful not to wake him, Karolina padded quietly to the kitchen. The cold tiles sent a shiver through her bare feet as she filled the kettle and set it on to boil. She sat at the table, resting her head in her hands, and let the silence engulf her. The ticking clock on the wall was the only sound, counting seconds that felt endless.

Her thoughts wandered to her life, her choices. She had married John young, starry-eyed with the promise of forever. Together, they had built a family: Sarah, with her bright laughter, and Alex, whose quiet curiosity warmed her heart. She had a job she enjoyed, a routine that most would call fulfilling. Yet, deep within her, something felt missing—a spark she hadn't realized she needed until now.

The kettle whistled, taking her away from her thoughts. She poured the steaming water over a tea bag and stared at the swirling liquid. Somewhere along the way, she had traded passion for predictability. Stability, once a comfort, now felt like a cage. She thought of John, his oblivious snoring, and the distance that had grown between them. When had he stopped noticing her restless nights? When had they stopped being each other's confidants?

Something inside her stirred—a rebellious spark she hadn't felt in years. She pushed the tea aside, stood up, and made a decision. She needed to feel alive, even if just for one night.

Quietly, she crept upstairs and rummaged through her wardrobe, finding her old party clothes. A fitted dress and heels she hadn't worn in years. To her surprise, they still fit. She smiled at her reflection. A flicker of pride broke through her doubt. Tonight, she wasn't going to be a mother or a wife. Tonight, she would reclaim the part of herself she thought she had lost.

Karolina parked her car near the club's entrance. A long line of twenty-somethings stretched out before her, their laughter and chatter filling the crisp night air. She hesitated, her confidence wavering. Did she belong here? Her fingers gripped the steering wheel tightly as insecurities bubbled to the surface. But then she reminded herself why she had come. She needed this.

She joined the queue, ignoring the curious glances from the younger crowd. When she finally made it inside, the pulsing music enveloped her. The lights flashed in time with the beat, and for a moment, she was overwhelmed. She pushed through, heading straight to the bar.

"A gin and tonic, please," she said, her voice barely audible over the thrum of bass.

The young and polished bartender handed her the drink with a polite smile. Karolina took a long sip, the cool bitterness calming her nerves. With each sip, she felt her confidence returning. She scanned the room, watching strangers dance and laugh, their carefree energy both foreign and intoxicating.

She drank another gin and tonic. Then another. Somewhere between the second and third drink, she stopped counting. The bartender raised an eyebrow but said nothing. Karolina felt a strange mix of freedom and desperation, her thoughts growing bolder with each drink. She wanted to be noticed. She wanted someone to look at her the way John had when they were young.

Eventually, nature called, and she headed to the bathroom. The line, as expected, was long. She leaned against the wall, observing the other women as they checked their makeup and adjusted their dresses. Karolina felt a pang of annoyance. Why were women always so consumed by how they appeared to others? She had never cared much for makeup or trends. Tonight, she hadn't even thought to wear any.

"Here," a voice said, breaking her thoughts.

Karolina turned to see a young woman holding out a tube of lipstick. "This colour would look amazing on you," the girl said, her tone cheerful and genuine.

– Oh, no, thank you–. Karolina stammered, startled by the unexpected offer.

– Trust me–. The girl stepped closer, tilting Karolina's face toward the light.– You've got beautiful eyes. This will make them pop.

Before Karolina could protest, the girl gently applied the lipstick. The intimacy of the moment made her cheeks flush. She glanced around, half-expecting others to stare, but no one seemed to notice. When the girl finished, she stepped back, admiring her work.

"Beautiful," she declared with a satisfied grin.

Karolina turned to the mirror and gasped. She hardly recognized herself. The woman staring back looked vibrant, alive.

– Thank you–, Karolina said softly.– What's your name?

– Anna–, the girl replied, her smile warm.– And you?

– Karolina.

– Nice to meet you, Karolina–. Anna's voice was calm, yet her gaze held something playful, something magnetic. She extended a hand, and when Karolina took it, Anna surprised her with a quick kiss.

Karolina froze. The kiss was brief but electric, sending a storm of emotions rushing through her: confusion, excitement, guilt. She didn't resist as Anna tugged her toward the door, leading her outside. They wandered to a nearby park, where Anna lay down on the grass, gazing up at the stars.

Karolina hesitated, unsure of what to do. "Why are we here?"

"To talk," Anna said simply, her voice soft. "Sometimes, you just need someone who doesn't know you to listen."

Karolina sat down slowly, unsure of what to say. But as the stars twinkled above, she began to speak. She shared her doubts, her regrets, and her longing for something more. Anna listened without interrupting, her calm presence grounding Karolina's racing thoughts.

"Life is like the stars," Anna said after a long silence. "You can't always see the pattern right away. But if you look closely, you'll realize every choice, every moment, connects to something bigger. Destiny, as it's already written."

Karolina looked at her, feeling a strange sense of peace. For the first time in years, she felt truly seen. And when Anna kissed her again, Karolina quickly pulled away. Her heart raced, her mind a whirlwind of emotions and the thoughts of her kids, her husband, and her sexuality, but one thought stood out above the rest: What am I supposed to do? 

"Do you think I could ask destiny what should I do?" hesitated Karolina.

"You can ask anything you want," Anna replied with a slight grin on her lips. 

For the first time in a long time, Karolina asked herself not what she should do, but what she wanted to do.

"Okay destiny, what should I do?"