BRENDON POV :
it has been over a year since the incident... we were now both about to enter college and god how i was scared. I was sitting there over the chimney, watching the flames dance. I was drinking a cup of coffee but... i didnt really pay attention to it, i was too busy getting lost in the labyrinth that were my thoughts. and inevitably, the coffee went cold and undrinkable.
Me and ryan were writing songs all summer long. It was a relieve for my parents, they're not too pleased when i'm around so, hanging out with Ryan helped me *and them* catch a break. We were usually hanging out over the river, that's where we found our inspiration most of the time. I went alone once. I wrote something but never finished it
"he was just hanging around, then he fell in love,
in the middle of summer, all was golden in the sky..."
i did know ryan wasn't straight by now but, i didn't want to rush him and well, i wasn't even sure if he loved me back. I liked our friendship how it was and no matter how much i wished ryan was mine, i didnt want to ruin the special thing we had.
it's been over a week since we last texted. I miss him but, i know he's busy and also stressed about college, so i won't bother him more.
RYAN POV :
i was home alone. Dad was working double the time as usual, since he wanted to afford christmas time. i was studying over at my desk, just making sure everything was ready for college. I was freaking out. I knew brendon and i weren't taking the same classes, and that was stressing me even more. Who would i rely on? God! i couldn't stop overthinking it. I needed to relax. I went downstairs to grab a cookie and a cup of milk, trying to get my mind out of this. I wanted to text brendon but, i felt like it wasn't the time. It would just make me overthink more. I didn't know how to feel anymore about him... His feelings are not.. Very subtle... but i'm not a good person and i wouldn't want to disappoint him...
TIMESKIP. SCHOOL STARTED.
i made a few friends. In the end, i had no reasons to stress like that. Life has been good at college, my grades are good so far. The people here are great. I even met a girl that also likes fall out boy and my chemical romance. I showed her a few of the texts i wrote. We honestly get along pretty well. It's been a while since i haven't have a friend group this big. I was walking in the halls, books in my hands, my friends at my side, when suddenly my eyes caught Brendon. Well he wasn't alone either but, he didnt seem too happy to see me. To be fair, i haven't been speaking to him this much. we swore we'd eat together everyday before entering college, yet we did it once or twice only.. And it has been my fault. I've been dodging him. my new friends have been asking me out to eat and, i couldn't really refuse.. It's just bonding, right? He'll understand... Right?
BRENDON POV :
I was hanging around with a few friends. The beginning of this year has been terrible. i can't focus in class, i can't study at home, the only thing that's been on my mind is ryan. i fucking hate it. I feel like he's been ignoring me and it's killing me. He was the reason why i stayed. And now.. Everything just feels bland.
I saw him briefly in the halls today. He looked at me and i know he knows i saw him. I gave him a nasty look. To him, and to his ugly friends, and especially to that girl that's always sticking next to him. I quickly grabbed the stuff i needed in my locker before stepping away angrily, without even waiting for my friends. i went outside. I needed air. I sat down leaning against the dirty brick wall, passing my hand through my hair, making it even messier than what it already was. I rubbed my face with the tips of my fingers, before pulling out my laptop out of my backpack. I opened MySpace, to write down a status.
"say my name and hers in the same breath,
i dare you to say they taste the same."
Fall out boy. I knew he liked that. i just changed the "his" in the original text to my liking. I decided to check his page quickly. Ugh. This girl, lucy, she was commenting everything and each one of his posts. His selfies.. His status.. I hated her in the depth of my guts. Whatever, i thought to myself, it's fine anyway, he hasn't forgotten about me, he's just busy and... Who am i fooling. Not even myself. He just didn't care anymore.
