"Visiting hours will be in a few minutes, Mr. Astor. Please go sit until told otherwise." The guard calmly spoke, seemingly unbothered by the amount of horrible people in this one building. Maybe they just all look the same after a while, when you're around so many criminals almost everyday it's hard not to look at them the same. With all the same disgusting morals, or lack there of.
Noel looked down at his feet, he couldn't bear to look anyone in the face here. He didn't know if it was out of fear or nervousness, but it just seemed as if he wasn't allowed to. One wrong move and he'll be grouped in with *them*. He nodded as he obligingly did as the man told him to do. A wave of nerves hit him as the situation just came to him, he was in a prison. Visiting his mother who had finally been caught after years of getting away taking the lives of who knows now many people. But deep down he knew that he would be in same situation she was in, if not now. Definitely in the future. It didn't process in his mind that he could actually chose his future now.
He was snapped back into reality as he heard a voice saying "You are allowed to come in now" or at least that's all he heard. They also went through some protocols, but they were obvious. He slowly stood up, his knees were starting to become weak as his felt most of his body shake. He took a deep breath before fallowing the officer back into a visiting room. Quickly getting patted down and searched, not the most comfortable thing. However he was expecting it so it wasn't too nerve-wracking.
After a few minutes he finally got guided to where his mother was, he shut his eyes as he sat down. He wasn't sure if he was ready to even look at the woman who gave birth to him in the eyes. All he could focus on was the deafening silence, the lack of words from both sides made it louder and nearing unbearable.
Once he opened his eyes a wave of nausea crashed down onto him, he covered his mouth as he tried to regain composure. He didn't recognize the person in front of him, this couldn't be her. No way, she looked like she hadn't slept or eaten since the time she got there. He couldn't stand the look of sympathy in her eyes, she never gave him that look. It felt so uncanny, he never knew a face like hers can make an expression that sympathizes with her victims.
"Hello sweetheart, you're looking well." She finally broke the silence, it was the same fake tone that she would put on around people. But it somehow sounded more genuine?
Noel couldn't speak, he tried to say something but nothing came out. His throat was tight, it felt as if someone was putting him in a chokehold. He couldn't breathe, or not well at least. After a few minutes he finally choked something out. It wasn't something he thought he would say to the woman who tried to kill him. But after years of molding him to be obedient and "perfect" he didn't think it was possible for him to say something else. "I'm sorry I let you down mom." He muttered, looking back down at his feet. His heart rate picking up with each word coming out of his mouth.
"Oh there's nothing to be sorry about Noel, not all of us are cut out to be assassins." She replied softly, almost knowing immediately what he was talking about. Even with how much Noel wanted to hate the women she knew him better than anyone. And he hated that.
Noel let out an elongated sigh, feeling his body relax. He didn't understand how he was relaxed, maybe he wanted a sense of comfort or familiarity? Was his mind playing tricks on him? He hated his own mind, that was one of the few things he couldn't understand easily. "I'll say" Letting out a soft scoff.
His mother looked up at him, her look became more soft. Her eyes were starting to water a little bit, the women Noel knew all of his life, who never shed a tear in front of him was actually starting to cry? Was this even his mother? Was she trying to get Noel to forgive him to go back to the agency? Maybe it was working... "Noel, this is really for the best. You wouldn't be able to survive here.."
She paused. "You have a good life, an easy life. We all envy you." Her voice started to break, getting more strained at she spoke.
Noel looked back up... Her saying his name, it felt so validating. He felt himself start to tear up, not even trying to hide how much she had an effect on him "I'll miss you." He mumbled, letting out a soft cry.
Josephine looked at her son, she put a hand through the small square opening through the glass. Gently holding holding the boy's hand as she caressed it with her thumb. The most affection she's shown to him in years. "I'll always be with you, Noel. And if you ever neede I'll be there. Now go dear, it's starting to get dark... Noel, I love you." She whispered tenderly, but never shedding a tear.
Noel's grip tightened, his breath hitching as he tried his best to be quiet. He didn't need more eyes on him. "I love you too mom." Those words felt strange, it felt uncomfortable. But why? Wasn't he getting what he wanted? For the women he always wanted to love and care for him to actually do so? It all felt so fake.
