Don't Blame Me (Blame My Ex) || Buddie

The Thing About Family

"Oh... well I'm glad you felt comfortable... Do you think you'll go on more dates?"

"Do you... not want me to?"

"No, No. I want you too. I think it'd be good for you... Not that I'm the judge of what's good for you. I just mean... if you have fun on dates now, maybe you should try it more... find out what you like too."

"I don't know... maybe."

Maybe? Fucking maybe? No. He needs Eddie to find his first. He needs Eddie to date someone. He needs to be Eddie's last so badly, it isn't even funny.

Usually Buck sees the potential for a future, and he rushes into it, but with Eddie, he doesn't just see potential, he fucking sees it. Every time he looks at Eddie, he sees the future. Falling asleep next to him every night, waking up next to him every morning, driving with him to work. He doesn't have to create a future, it already exists. He doesn't have to chase it, it will come to him. His future... Just him, Eddie, and... "How was your call with Chris?"

"Not great. My dad interrupted again. I'm starting to think he's doing it on purpose."

"I'm sorry, Eds. I wish there was something I could do."

"...do you think that maybe Chris is asking him to interrupt? Like he doesn't want to talk to me so badly that he asked my dad to interrupt us?"

Buck puts down the remote and looks at Eddie. "No, I don't think that's what's going on at all. I think your parents are doing it on purpose. I think they're probably always on Chris' ass so he doesn't think anything of it, but he's a smart kid and your parents are assholes so-" It gets to a point where Buck can't read Eddie's face anymore, and he takes that to mean only one thing. "Shit... not my place. I'm sorry I-"

"No, Buck, your place... completely your place. I called you when I didn't want him to leave. He let you in his room... please, tell me what you think."

"I think Chris is a smart kid, and right now he's mad and maybe a little blind to... your parents, but he'll see it. They can pretend to be these perfect parents to him all they want, but you know what they were like when you were younger, and... I mean I guess I don't know much about them now, but it doesn't seem like they've actually put in the work to be better parents 'cause they're still shit to you. I think they'll slip up, or Chris will stop being mad and see that they aren't actually good parents. He'll remember that you love him the way he needs. He'll come back, and I don't think he's doing anything except existing and maybe being a little mad at you."

"Maybe you should be here next time he calls... or maybe you should try calling him. You don't... you don't have to talk me up to him or anything. You don't even have to tell me what he says or how he is, I think you're just better at talking to both of us than we are at talking to each other."

"I don't... Eds, I really do think this is something you two have to work out just the two of you, but if you want me here, I'll be here. If you want me to call, I will. I just don't know how much I can help." Chris' birthday was one thing, but being there just him and Eddie for no other reason than to... mediate. It doesn't feel right. He doesn't feel like it's his place.

"I think you'll be a lot bigger help than you think. If you don't feel comfortable being here, then please do call him. You make me feel better, I think maybe you can make him feel better too, and that's all I want for him. I think he probably misses you."

"I think he might be mad at me..."

"Why?"

"I was there when he left, Eds. I was there for you and... I don't know. He wasn't happy when I was here for the birthday call, or any other time. I think even he knew it wasn't-"