Don't Blame Me (Blame My Ex) || Buddie

The Thing About Family

"I stopped at the store and got us some beers. Thought we could turn on a dumb movie and just... chill." He pushes the door shut behind him and slips off his shoes.

"Sounds good to me. We should probably put the beers in the refrigerator this time though. They were lukewarm by the time I reached for a second one last time."

"Okay, but don't blame that on me. It's not my fault you keep the heat in your house cranked."

"Yeah, but you never complain about being cold here," he takes the six pack from Buck, "unlike at your place." He smiles at him before walking to the kitchen. Buck follows behind him.

Eddie puts away the beers, keeping two out for them. He opens one, hands it to Buck, then opens the other.

"I love how you just do things for me sometimes."

"Shut up." Eddie rolls his eyes before passing Buck in the doorway. Of course he doesn't move out of his way, so it forces him to press against him. He pretends like it's nothing and goes straight to the living room.

He sits on the couch and Buck sits next to him. They both pretend like everything is completely normal as Buck flips through the movies.

But Eddie can smell the cologne. He can look at Buck and tell he washed up a bit before coming over. He can tell that Buck is doing this on purpose. He's doing it hoping that Eddie will make the first move and he won't be accountable for anything that happens, but him showing up like this is him making the first move. Anything Eddie does, he can't be blamed for it because Buck looks like that, Buck smells like that... how could he not want him.

Eddie turns, leaning in close. His hand goes to the other side of Buck's neck as he whispers. "It's all your fault, Buck." The words are accusatory, but his tone is sweet as he leans in, letting his lips press to his neck.

"Eddie..."

Eddie can feel Buck's pulse quicken. He pulls back and moves his hand up to the side of his face, pulling it so he's looking at him. "I can smell the cologne, Buck."

"I umm..." Buck stumbles over some words as a smile creeps onto his face. "I thought maybe it'd just mess with you subconsciously. I had no clue you'd notice."

"I don't understand why you keep pretending... why you keep saying it's a bad idea."

"I'm... still trying to figure some things out. I like this... but I mean it when I say it's not a good idea."

"Because you don't want it to become more?"

No, I want to know who I am before I'm with you. I want to be confident in my identity like you are. I want to be the best version of myself for you. I want you to find your first so I can be your forever. There is not one part of me that does not want this to become more.

"Right..."

Okay, Eddie can pretend too. "Did I ever say I wanted it to become more?" Eddie will do anything to have Buck any way he can until he's ready. Not be his rebound, but continue to be his something. Even if that means pretending he's good with all of it.

"I- no... I guess you didn't."

"Okay, so... I'm trying to let myself feel some joy and you are... still figuring things out, so we do this when we want to, and we'll be friends the rest of the time. We're grown ups, I think we can handle it."

"So... you're good if this isn't..."

Treat Buck so well that there isn't any option but him. Do whatever he can to keep him in some capacity, continue to show him how good he can be to him, even if it's like this.