2 STRINGS

Counting Down the Chaos

Tuesday, October 29

It's been a while since I've written in here. Life has been... chaotic, to say the least. Between school, soccer, the talent show, and everything else, I've barely had time to breathe, let alone sit down and spill my thoughts. But here I am, finally catching a moment to write. So much has happened this month, it feels like a lifetime.

Soccer and Mason

Making the soccer team was the easy part. Actually being on the team? That's been a whole different story. Coach isn't playing around this year, and the practices have been brutal. It's like he's on a mission to kill us with drills. But I guess it's paying off.

Our first game was last week. We played against Westfield High, one of the best teams in the district. I was nervous as hell, but once the whistle blew, it was like everything else disappeared. For 90 minutes, it was just the field, the ball, and my teammates. I even managed to score a goal—a clean strike to the top corner. Tasha tackled me in celebration, and for a moment, I felt invincible.

We won 3-2, but it wasn't easy. Melody was a beast in midfield, controlling the game like a pro. She's got this way of reading the play before it happens, and honestly, it's intimidating.

The boys' team played after us, but I wasn't paying much attention. Mason was on the field—he's a forward, and one of the best on the team—but honestly, he barely crossed my mind. It's weird. There was a time when I couldn't stop thinking about him. Now? He's just... Mason.

Maybe it's because of the whole Jessica drama. Or maybe I've just outgrown whatever feelings I had. Either way, I don't feel the same anymore.

Jessica, of course, hasn't let up. She cornered me after practice last week, accusing me of "eye-fucking" Mason during warm-ups. Like, girl, I barely even looked at him. I told her to get over herself and walked away before I said something that would've gotten me benched.

Melody thinks I should've slapped her, but I'm trying to keep my cool. For now.

The Dreams and Xolo

The dreams haven't stopped. If anything, they've gotten worse. It's always Xolo now—his voice, his eyes, the way he touches me.

It's maddening. In my dreams, his hands skim across my skin, gentle but deliberate, like he knows exactly how to unravel me. I wake up flushed, heart racing, with the feeling of his fingers still lingering on my body. I can't tell if it's my brain torturing me or if it's something deeper.

I've started to wonder if it's unhealthy, this obsession. I listen to his music constantly, replaying old concert clips and interviews, as if I'll find some clue to explain why he's stuck in my head.

The Lunar Drift concert is this Friday, and it feels like my lifeline. Melody and I have had tickets for weeks now, and I've been counting down the days. I keep imagining what it'll be like—standing in the crowd, hearing his voice live, feeling the bass reverberate through my chest.

Part of me wonders if seeing him in person will make it better or worse.

Family Dynamics

Home's been its usual mix of chaos and comfort. Kooty, my eight-year-old little brother, has been on a dinosaur kick lately. He runs around the house roaring like a T-Rex, pretending to chomp on everyone. It's cute, but also annoying as hell when I'm trying to study.

Greg, my 17-year-old brother, has been acting weird lately. He's still a pain in the ass—stealing my snacks, hogging the bathroom, and blasting his shitty rap music at all hours—but lately, he's been hanging around Melody a lot.

Like, a lot.

Melody doesn't seem to mind. In fact, she's been a little too smiley when he's around. I haven't decided if she's into him or if he's into her—or maybe it's both. Either way, it's weird, and I don't know how I feel about it.

Mom and Dad are the constants in the chaos. Mom's been working long hours at her restaurant but still manages to make time for us. She's the glue that holds us all together, even when Kooty's roaring and Greg's being a dick.

Dad, on the other hand, has been on this DIY kick. He spent the weekend building a bookshelf for the living room, which is hilarious because we don't even own that many books. But he looked so proud of himself when he finished it that I didn't have the heart to tease him.

School and Talent Show Prep

School's been a nightmare, as usual. Between homework and the talent show, I've barely had time to breathe. Melody's been dragging me to rehearsals almost every day, and while the band is sounding decent, I'm still terrified about singing in front of everyone.

I can't stop thinking about all the ways it could go wrong. What if I forget the lyrics? What if my voice cracks? What if I completely bomb in front of the entire school?

Melody, of course, has no patience for my anxiety. She's relentless, constantly reminding me that I've got this.

With the concert on Friday and the talent show on Saturday, this weekend is going to be insane. Part of me can't wait to see Xolo live, to finally experience Lunar Drift in all their glory. But the other part of me is dreading the talent show.

A few weeks ago, I thought my biggest problems were making the soccer team or dealing with Jessica's bullshit. Now, everything feels like it's happening all at once.

But maybe that's life—messy, chaotic, and overwhelming. At least I've got my family, my friends, and the music to keep me grounded.

Here's hoping I survive the week.