Back To The Window

Through the ice and cracks

Under Jeremy's fluorescent desk lamp light that battles the dimness away, his biology work stares back at him, unchanged for the last 5 minutes. The words swim across his notebook pages and textbook, not going in at all - definition of his senior year. It's not even late, Jeremy's just tired. At least with his swimming, he's able to move around a lot and interact with people - it's a shame he didn't have that today.

Jeremy runs his hands on the sides of his face and through his hair, reluctantly bringing himself back to reality. It's that time of the evening where he doesn't know what to do with himself - too early to stop studying but too late to-

Three raps on his window fiercely cut through his thoughts as Jeremy physically recoils in his seat, his vision immediately darting to the window to his right.

Jeremy freezes. He hasn't heard that since-

7 months. It's been 7 months. No, this can't be right...

Jeremy slowly rises from his desk chair and carefully approaches his window while trying to scan through the darkness outside.

Relief, frustration and uncertainty floods through Jeremy as Mike meets his gaze through the w-

Has he been crying? Even through the window, Jeremy can decipher Mike's red nose and slight redness rimming his eyes, along with the many lines there... He's only seen Mike cry once while they were dating and that was because of- Fuck.

Without hesitation, Jeremy pulls the window open - an action he hasn't done in a while but still feels familiar - and stands back to let Mike come in, the freezing, harsh night air quickly biting any exposed skin.

"Thank you." Mike immediately says, climbing through the frame. Suddenly, his ex is standing right in front of him in his room. It should be fine for now since no one else usually comes into his room, especially in the evening. He'll be able to hear someone coming anyway.

"What's the matter?" Jeremy tries to ask gently as he forcefully closes the window, hoping to not let any of his conflicting emotions seep through his tone - he's never really been good at that, though. They haven't said a word to each other since Mike broke it off with Jeremy and now Jeremy has whiplash - Mike is back and, apparently, a mess... although, he can guess why.

Mike faces the room at first, seemingly surveying over it but quickly turns back to Jeremy once the window closes. "Jeremy, I'm so sorry..." Mike says, voice a little hoarse. "I'm sorry for the way I ended things with us, I'm sorry we haven't been talking, I shouldn't have let you go so easily..." Mike strongly emphasises, "I'm sorry I didn't fight for us-"

Damn. And he never rambles.

"Woah, woah, slow down." Jeremy insists. "Look, I-" He takes a hesitant step forward while lost in his thoughts, unclear if he should give into his urge to touch Mike's shoulder and sit him down on his bed. He isn't quite sure where they're at - can he touch Mike again, comfort him in the way Jeremy used to?

Picking up on his hesitancy, Mike catches Jeremy's unsure glance as Jeremy's gaze locks with Mike's piercing blue eyes as they flick straight to his. With his usual unwavering confidence, Mike continues to hold his gaze. Silently giving permission. Jeremy feels a familiar wriggle in his stomach when under Mike's roaming eyes.

Jeremy softly grasps the other's shoulder to guide him over to the bed to sit him down. Jeremy sighs as he sits down too. "Mike, why are you here?"