No Strings Attached

Chapter Nine

Norma's fingers drifted from his chest, lightly grazing his collarbone as she looked up at him, her eyes dark with a mixture of determination and something softer. He had seen this look before, the night she pushed her way into his motel room and changed everything between them. He hadn't been strong enough that night to keep a clear head, and the three glasses of whiskey he'd had earlier left him almost in the same state of mind.
"Norma, we should..." he trailed off as she slowly tilted her head, her lips brushing his cheek in a way that was so gentle, so soft he barely felt it. But that faint touch was enough to set his pulse racing, his control hanging by a thread.
She pulled back only slightly, Alex's eyes slipping shut as her fingers lightly traced his jaw, her lips dangerously close to his. She was so near, her presence warm and real in his arms, and the temptation to let go of every reason he'd pushed her away rose within him like a tide.
But he knew if he let her in, even a relationship as casual as she was proposing, it wouldn't just be his heart on the line. Bob had made it clear more than once that he would use anything and anyone in Alex's life to get what he wanted. To get Alex to play the game with him rather than against.
And Alex's feelings for Norma were his most vulnerable weakness, the thing that would surely destroy him if he lost.
"Norma," he murmured, his voice thick with the weight of what he couldn't say as he gently took her hands from his face and held them between them. "This...We can't."
The look in her eyes shifted almost instantly, that warmth replaced by an unreadable coldness as her gaze turned steely, guarded. She pulled her hands back as if he'd burned her, before taking a small step away from him. The shield she raised was unmistakable, and a pang of regret struck him, knowing he'd driven her to this defensive place. But it had to be this way.
"Right," she replied, her tone clipped as her lips twisted in a forced smile. "Of course. Can't break the rules, can we, Sheriff?" The title rolled off her tongue with an icy edge.
"Norma, don't do that," he said, his voice pleading as he could feel her slipping through his grasp, though he knew she wouldn't stop now that her walls were back up.
"No, no, I get it." She let out a small, humorless laugh and pulled her jacket tighter around her, her eyes darting away as if to avoid any chance of showing him that she actually cared. "I set the rules, you're just...upholding them. It's what you do best, right?"
She stared at him with cold indifference, but he could see the hurt she tried to bury beneath it. He sensed that she was itching to leave, already planning her escape, but he knew if he let her leave like this, with her thinking he didn't want her, he wasn't sure he'd ever get her back.
He knew the effort it had taken for her to lower her guard with him at all, to open herself up even in the smallest way. If he let her go now, she'd put those walls back up and keep them up, locking him out in the process.
"Norma," he began, his voice gentle, as if afraid to scare her off.
She stared at him with guarded eyes, as if daring him to say something meaningful, something that would explain why he kept pushing her away, why he kept forcing them to stuff their feelings down.
He held her gaze, not allowing her to look away this time, his voice low and tender.
"It's not that I don't want you," he said, every word carrying the weight of the truth he couldn't fully share. "God knows that's not it. But I can't...I can't be what you need. I can't give you that, Norma. It'll only make things more dangerous for both of us. Especially if you want me going with you to talk to Bob. We're playing with fire, and I...I won't be able to live with myself if you get burned."
She regarded him, her eyes narrowing slightly, as if she were trying to find the holes in his logic, searching his expression for any sign that he was holding something back. She was perceptive; he knew she sensed there was more to it, that something else was making him hold her at arm's length.
"What's so dangerous, Alex?" she asked, her voice softer now, less defensive, but still wary. "Why can't we just...let this be easy? I don't understand why you're making it so complicated." She shook her head, her tone tinged with frustration.
He swallowed hard, a pang of regret slicing through him. If only she knew. If only he could tell her about Bob's threats, about the way Bob made it clear he'd go after anyone Alex cares about as long as Alex refused to work with him. But that knowledge would only bring her closer to the danger, and he'd sooner die than knowingly put her in harm's way.
"It's complicated because it has to be," he said, his voice almost a whisper. "I'm trying to protect us both, Norma. This-" he gestures between them, his hand lingering as though he could feel the invisible connection that tethered them together, no matter how hard he tried to sever it. "-it's not worth the risk, for either of us."
Not when it was her life that was being risked.
She nodded, her jaw set, the wall he'd seen her put up now firmly in place. Her expression was cool, unreadable, though he could sense the disappointment simmering just beneath the surface.
"Well," she said after a long moment, her voice steady, almost detached. "Thanks for being honest, Sheriff." She emphasized his title once again with a sarcastic bite, as if reminding herself of the boundary he'd just drawn between them. "I'll stay out of your way."
She turned to make her way to his door, her pace quick and determined. But just as her hand reached for the doorknob, he couldn't stop himself from closing the distance between them in one last, desperate attempt to hold onto her.
"Norma," he murmured, his hand reaching out to gently pull her back, forcing her to turn and look at him once more. This time, he let his hand linger on her arm, his eyes soft with a sadness that he couldn't hide. He held her gaze, needing her to see how much this was tearing him apart, that this was hurting him just as much as it was hurting her.
Without thinking, he gently cupped her face and leaned forward, pressing a gentle, lingering kiss to her forehead. His lips rested there for a moment, and he tried to pour everything he felt into that touch. His care, his longing, his need to keep her safe, even if it meant keeping her at a distance.
When he pulled back, he saw a single tear escape her eyes and slip down her cheek, her eyes flickering with something raw and vulnerable, but she quickly masked it.
But just before she could slip back into her practiced indifference, he gently wiped her tear with his thumb, his voice just above a whisper. "Please, understand, Norma. It's not what I want. It's just...how it has to be."
She held his gaze for a moment longer, her expression unreadable as she seemed to weigh his words, perhaps sensing the unspoken truth beneath them.
Then, with a small, almost imperceptible nod, she turned and walked out, leaving him standing alone, the silence of the room settling around him like a heavy shroud.
As the door closed, Alex once again felt a pang of regret, his heart aching with the knowledge that she might never open herself up to him again. He'd done what he had to do, he reminded himself. He'd made the right choice, to keep her safe, to put her above his own needs.
But as he stood there, alone in the quiet of his home, the truth of his feelings for her settled deep within him, a wound that felt impossible to heal.