Our Own Fantasy

ORV: It's Not Your Fault (Part 1)

"I will do anything; take anything from me but not my brother, my family."

Your eyes caught his face, but blurred due to your tears preventing it.

"Dokja, hey. Baby, I'm here."

You want to tell him. You want to make sure he is not blaming himself for everything that happened if one day he knew the truth.

"It's not your fault I ruin everything."

Failure of yours to be by his side in his difficulty, failure of yours to be there when he needed you.

"And it's not your fault I can't be what you need."

He can't be like you. He can't die because of you. He is so precious to you, so he can't make a foolish decision like you. But now, you are the one who has driven him into a corner, taking a step toward darkness.

"Baby, angels like you can't fly down hell with me."

If there is heaven and hell. You don't want Dokja to come with you to hell. His place is in heaven.

"You would only bring misery to the people around you."

Recalling what your attackers said to you, now you can't deny it.

'I'm everything they said I would be.'

Little did you know, someone had heard your prayer.

She would be the one who fulfills your desire to make the ways of survival for your brother.

~~~

You dragged your foot towards the door. The officer opened it with your hands cuffed together. Rising up your head, your eyes glinted with longing and love.

On the other side of the mirror, the young boy stood up slowly with his eyes never leaving you. His eyes roamed around your body and noted the bruises, cuts, swelling, and blood on your face.

He also noticed the fading red color on your skin around your neck. He gulped down after seeing you in this condition before meeting your eyes again.

You walked slowly toward the mirror, standing behind the chair provided before a small smile bloomed on your face. You ignored the ache that you could feel at the corner of your mouth because of your busted lips.

"Did you eat well?"

His body is skinny, making your eyes dimmed with sadness.

"Did you get enough sleep?"

You could see the way his lips trembled.

"How are you?"

Slowly, a hand touched the mirror. You imitated his motion by placing your hand atop of his, even though you couldn't feel the warmth.

"[Name]."

His voice cracked. You smiled.

"Dokja, I'm sorry."

He finally cried. This has never been your favorite to see; no, you hated to see your family cry. Moreover, if it's because of you.

"Hey, baby. Don't cry. I'm here."

"Sob."

He couldn't say anything. Because he was aware, he was not the only one struggling to survive.

After he woke up from jumping the school building, he was devastated. However, after his mother told him that you knew about this, he didn't know what to think.

What he knew was that you wanted him to visit you. This time, you made a promise to see him.

It is not an easy decision because he didn't want to feel the disappointment again. But here he is. Now, looking at you after so long.

You were looking thin and tired. Not the image he had in mind. He had never seen you like this. You are always so strong, smiley, and full of life.

Your eyes turned sorrowful.

"Dokja."

Kim Dokja was trying to stop crying but he couldn't. He wanted to say something, and wanted to vent to you. If he kept crying, you'd be dragged back inside because of the time limit.

"Look at me, please?"

He wiped his tears with his other hand, tears still falling, but he did look up at you.

Seeing you smile so gently was making his heart ached.

"I will survive here."

You never diverted your gaze from your brother.

"I will adapt in this place so that I will survive here."

Throw away the weakness, throw away the fear, and become someone new. Adapt to your surroundings so you wouldn't get stomped by anyone anymore.

"So, please survive too."

If you want your brother to do the same, you should start first.

"Survive and adapt to the outside world, and wait for me. I will also do the same and go out to meet you again, Dokja."

His crying has subsided.

"Promise?"

You smiled.

"I swear."

He nodded, accepting the deal to survive.

"I will survive. I will adapt. So, don't give up. I will not give up either. We will meet outside. Then we will live together again. All three of us."

He said between the hiccuping. You nodded.

"Yes. We will be together again."

Tet!

The buzzer has made a noise, which means the time has passed for the visit. The officer came and grabbed your arm; Dokja was not ready to depart with you yet.

He called your name, and you forcefully stopped.

"Can I come here more often?"

You looked back at him.

"Of course."

A small smile crept up his face, and your day has never been better to witness such a sight.

From that day onwards, there was no longer a weak you. There was no longer the bullied you.

For Dokja, you would adapt and survive.

You'd do anything to survive in this place.

This is your way of survival.

[TBC]