song for chapter: same love - macklemore and ryan lewis ft. mary lambert
Epilogue
*6 years later*
"Are you sure you're ready for this?" my husband, Damon asks as I look at the building. He squeezes my hand asking if I'm okay. I smile at him and nod.
"I'll never be ready, but I've got to do it now before it's too late," he nods and leans over to kiss me.
"I love you, Tristan." He says. I smile at him.
"I love you, too, Damon." I get out of the car and walk into the building. The sliding doors open and I walk in being blasted with cool fresh air. I go to the desk and sign in.
"Second floor, room 118." The receptionist says. I thank her before taking the elevator to the floor. I search the doors and finally find room 118. I take a deep breath before opening the door. I see him lying there peacefully, His oxygen tank right beside him.
"Dad?" I say quietly. He looks up at me. I smile and walk towards his bed. His face is emotionless. I sit on the chair beside his bed and hold his hand tightly in mine. "How've you been?" I ask him. He doesn't respond, just looks at me.
"I've been good. Mom and Theresa, they're—they're good too. They miss you," he looks up at the ceiling, still being silent. I lick my lips nervously and look down trying to hold back tears.
"Damon and I are married; it-it happened last May. I wish you could've been there. It was nice." He still ignores me. "I-I just want you to know that, I forgive you, dad. I forgive you for not accepting me, I know you just wanted to help, but there's no changing who I am. I've accepted it, I hope you can too." He looks at me and I think for a moment that he's going to speak. I see his other hand move toward our entwined ones. I think he's trying to hold my hand with both of his but I am disappointed when he pushes my hand away and looks the other way, ignoring me. A tear slips down my eye as I stand up and wipe my hands on the thighs of my pants.
"I love you father," I say before kissing his forehead and leaving.
"So," Damon asks once I get back in the car. "What happened?"
"Can we just go please?' I ask. He sighs before mumbling okay under his breath and starting the car up.
Later that day I got a call from the hospital telling me that my dad died. I was upset at first because he's my dad. I love him despite everything we've been through, and then I was upset because he didn't even use his last breath to tell me he loves me or to tell me that he accepts me. I guess some people are too stubborn to change their own minds. We had a funeral for him and I left a picture of him and me from before we moved from Michigan. We had just come back from watching The Notebook. I told him I wanted to watch it so bad because I thought it was romantic and maybe it could give me a few pointers. I now realize that I wanted to watch it because I had a crush on Ryan Gosling. All the memories I have from my childhood are now being deciphered as moments of signs I was gay. When I only played with Theresa's Ken dolls, when I fantasized about Robert Downey Jr., when I kissed Damon. I didn't know it when I was younger, but now that I do I thank God for making me the way I am, because if I wasn't gay I never would've made the friends I have now, and I never would've married the love of my life. I would never change my life now. I'm fine with exactly how it is, my dad might've never accepted me but that's okay because I accept myself.
--THE END--
