Forgive Me (complete)

11

"Ivan?" I cautiously questioned.

He violently turned his head as fear encompassed his features. He cowered in the corner as far from me as possible. Jesus, I was disgusting for doing this to him. I broke him and that hurt me. I reduced him to this mess the way Michael reduced me to a home wrecking whore.

"Ivan, please, I am here to end this," I tried.

"You're not real. You're not real. You're not real...." He muttered over and over as he clutched his hair.

"I am real. Please, forgive me for doing this to you...I was just so...so angry with you. I wanted you to feel everything you did to me..."

He turned to me and gripped the flowing silk of my ivory dress. As he moved his hands up my body, black hand prints were left on the delicate fabric. He gripped my hips roughly, rubbing his dirty face on my legs, sobbing uncontrollably. I sank to my knees and pulled his face up to look into his eyes. Every fear, every ounce of suffering was apparent in the features I was once obsessed with. Looking at him now I couldn't believe I was ever attracted to him especially with Damian in the picture.

"You need to be at peace, Ivan. You will not suffer any longer."

"Forgive me, Katrina," he begged. It took everything in me to stay strong but I managed.

"I have already forgiven you. I will transport you to Heaven as soon as we clean you up. Come on," I said. I gripped his hand and pulled him to his full six foot three frame.

I transported us to my room to clean him up. I couldn't help but be cautious around him. After all, he did beat me and murder me.

"Bathroom is through there," I said feeling beyond awkward.

He only looked at me with a blank expression still gripping my hand tightly. It was like he was void of anything; any thoughts, emotions besides fear were beyond him. I sighed and walked him into the bathroom.

"Come on, Ivan. I know you understand me," I said in Russian. Hopefully that would get through to him.

His terrified brown eyes focused on me with a hint of the man he once was. He didn't speak but he allowed me to undress him and start the shower for him.

"Katrina," he whispered as he gripped my face.

I placed my hands over his, rubbing the back of his hands.

"I never wanted to hurt you. I don't know why I did it..."

"It's okay, Ivan. I've had a century to come to terms with it. I was really mad at first but now I'm just...void. I don't feel much of anything these days," I said trying to joke a bit but he saw through it. He always saw through my shit.

"You are sad, Kat. This is my fault."

"Not even close, Ivan," I said with a sad smile, "Now shower. I want to get you out of here as soon as possible."

He nodded and got in the shower. I went out to the main part of my room in hopes of having some solitude but I knew solitude was the last thing I would be granted.

Damian leaned against the wall closest to the door frowning at me. I knew he would never understand what I was doing with Ivan and I didn't care to explain it either.

"What has gotten into you?" He asked.

I kept a stoic expression which was easy to maintain around Damian. I didn't care what he thought about me so emotion was never a factor.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Of course not," he said venomously, "Why the fuck can't you just talk to me, Katrina?"