Control

A Memory, Part I

"Good Morning everyone, I'm Malakai, Professor Amiri's teaching aid." His voice sent shivers down my spine. It was deep and held a sense of authority within it. I couldn't help myself from checking him out. He had on a gray t-shirt that clung tight to him and didn't really leave much to the imagination. I could tell that he makes it a habit to work out. I missed a lot of what he was saying due to my obvious ogling of his body, and only caught the end of it.

"Since this is the case I am here to give you your scores and you guys have the chance to sign up for the tutoring sessions that I will be holding for the rest of the semester until finals." That caught my attention. I knew that I would need to sign up. Also I wasn't gonna hesitate since he was the one that would be the tutor. He began calling everyone's names and handing them back their test.

"Nyra." Hearing my name roll off his tongue did something to me. I wanted to hear it again, preferably whispered into my ear as he held me tight by the throat right before he—. "Is there a Nyra here?" I came back to my senses at the sound of him calling my name. Damn what was I thinking in the middle of class. I put my hand up and did a little wave.

"Here." At the sound of my voice he looked at me. When our eyes met I couldn't help the blush that crept onto my face after remembering where my mind had just wandered. I looked away as he started heading towards me and I could've sworn I saw him smirk.

"Here you go." I didn't dare look up, not wanting to embarrass myself any further. I reached up to grab my test and our fingers brushed against each other. This made me look up at him. He held my stare and I couldn't help but get lost in those dark brown eyes that were somehow making me feel like they could see right through me with just one look. 

I felt vulnerable and exposed under his gaze and I did not want to admit what that did to me. He turned around and walked back to the desk at the front. I released a breath finally being able to breath now since he wasn't so close. "You guys can head out. If anyone wants to sign up for tutoring I'll be staying back for a few minutes." I watched as people started to get up and leave the class.

A few people headed over to Malaki to write their names down on the paper. I got up and stood behind them waiting for my turn. I wrote my name down on the paper and just before I walked away I gave him another look to see that he was already staring at me. He gave me a smile. Somehow he seemed so familiar but I couldn't place my thumb on it so I decided not to worry about it. Maybe I saw him around campus. 

After that I headed out checking my phone to see if Venus texted me yet. I didn't get anything from her so I figured that she was still in class. I texted her letting her know that I was going to wait for her at the food court. When I got to the food court I heard my phone ding telling me that someone texted me. I sat down at a table in the corner and checked it.

Be there in a few. By the way my brother is going to be eating with us.

I was surprised that he decided that he was going to eat with us today given that I haven't seen him since he graduated high school. I couldn't really remember what he looked like since he wasn't around much. I only could remember that he looked good from the handful of times that I saw him. I wondered what he looked like now. As I was lost in my thoughts on how Venus' brother looked, I didn't notice the two people who sat down at the table. The shuffling of things brought me out of my thoughts. The first thing I noticed was Malakai sitting across from me. I gave him a confused look but before I could ask him why he was here Venus spoke up.

"Nyra, this is Malakai who is unfortunately my older brother. I know you guys met before but it's been awhile and you barely saw him." I was still looking at him and he had a smirk on his face. "He all of a sudden decided that he wanted to eat lunch with me. Which I found very weird since it seemed like he's been avoiding me since we got here." I heard her huff and I could tell she also rolled her eyes.

"Nyra nice to meet you." Malakai held his hand out for me to shake it. I looked down at his hand then back up at him giving him a questioning look. I was wondering why he acted as if he hadn't met me like no less than 10 minutes ago. Then I realized why he looked so familiar before. I took his hand and shook it and before we let go I felt him rub his thumb on the back of my hand slowly. When he finally released my hand I could still feel the warmth of where his thumb caressed me. Venus was too busy on her phone to see the little interaction between her brother and I.

"Have you eaten yet?" Venus looked up at me.

"No I was waiting for you to get here, I'm STARVING!" We got up and got our food and the whole time I was trying not to be overly conscious of Malakai. The entire time we ate I could feel his gaze on me. Usually I would find it creepy and would've already asked him what he was staring at but once again just one look from him and I felt the heat pool right in between my thighs. 

He barely spoke a word to me and yet he had me like this. I couldn't understand why my stupid body couldn't control itself. I couldn't let him get to me. I focused on eating my food. Today was Friday and I only had 1 class so after this I planned on heading home. I had a couple sketches that I was working on that I would like to finish for the showcase that was coming up in a few weeks.

Ever since that day that I saw my parents I couldn't get the whole thing out of my head. I had to admit that it was a bit embarrassing to speak to them after everything I witnessed but after some time passed I got over it. I decided to look more into what everything was and that was the day that I learned that I wanted to give control of my body, my mind and my soul to someone. In the beginning everything seemed scary. 

That thought alone scared me. Then I thought back to my parents and their relationship and how happy they seemed with one another and I believed that I could also achieve that level of happiness as well. I just had to find the right person. I had been so busy adjusting myself with campus life that I hadn't had time to find a partner. I have been waiting until the showcase and the semester is over. That way I have more time to really sit down and find someone. It's not like everyone was into this lifestyle so that made it a little more difficult.