A Fool's Revenge

You're Just A Cloud Of Smoke

Chris and I sat in a nice silence for a few moments but my blood was still boiling from James saying we should just stay friends. Like what the fuck do I do now? It's just gonna be an awkward next three weeks on the bus.

"What's going on in that head of yours, if you don't mind me asking" he asked as he swallowed his coffee and looked at me waiting for an answer.

"Nothing, everything, anything." I chuckled but refrained from looking at him. He seemed like the kind of guy that could read people like a book and I wasn't looking for that; I didn't want to be read like an open book.

"Whatever it is, it's pissing you off. Don't stress about it too much. Most of the time it's not worth it." I took in his intellectual words and figured he was right. At some point things would have ended between James and I, maybe we were better off this way.

"I wish it was that easy. It's like my life is a fucking unsolvable puzzle and I'm stuck here waiting for someone to come along and put the pieces together." I chuckled and shook my head at the ridiculous metaphor that had had come up with.

"I would say I could put the pieces together but I got a girl back home." He smiled sorrowfully and I shrugged.

"Thanks, I guess." I smiled weakly and looked away. Chris is someone I would rather stay friends with, not James or Mike. He was a lot like Priscilla, always knowing the right things to say to make me feel even the slightest bit okay.

"So what is it that's got you so... upset?" he asked cautiously after a moment of lingering silence.

"Love. Or lack of, I guess. Well, not really. Just the shitty confusing and angering part of it." I sighed and let y head rest on the back of the seat.

"What do you mean?"

"Have you ever liked two people at once, maybe one more than the other but not be able to decipher your feelings for them?" I asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Well, I liked two guys, friends of mine. I slept with both of them. I've known one since high school and the other for a few months. Well, the one from high school is mostly a dick to me, was really, but has a nice side. The other has always been sweet to me. This morning the sweet one told me we should just stay friends because I still don't exactly know my feelings and he is a player. 'Because we wouldn't work' I just don't get it." I kicked the seat again, harder than before, making Chris jump a little.

"Neither of them seem worth it. You could honestly have anyone you wanted; you shouldn't kill yourself over two douchebags who confuse the fuck outta you, Jayme. You just have to do shit for yourself and not give a fuck about what other people think, do or say about it. You're too pretty to get yourself all worked up." he comforted but it just pissed me off a little more.

"I hate when people say that. 'You're too pretty to get upset' like no, fuck you. It pisses me off how society thinks that just because you're pretty that everything in life should be fucking peachy. I know you mean well with it but seriously, if I hear it one more time, I might punch someone in the fucking face." I growled and ranted. He chuckled.

"I get that. Society is a fucked up place but you shouldn't worry about it. if those two guys don't want you and don't realize how nice you are, then screw them! You're a hot piece of ass and can do way better than them." If I had drink, I surely would have spit it out because I cracked up.

"You know, I just wanted to sit here till doors opened and be pissed off and you have me fucking laughing. Screw you. You're right though, I'm not gonna get all pissed off because James and Mike don't realize how great I am, fuck them." He looked at me with wide eyes and I realized I named names. I cursed under my breath multiple times. He just nodded and smiled. He knew me, more than he ever thought when he met me yesterday.

"There ya go! If James and Mike can't realize how amazing you are then oh-fucking-well. You have people like me and others who will be friends with you no matter what."

"So, we're friends now are we?" I chuckled and he rolled his eyes.

"Yes. Any friend of Priscilla's is a friend of mine. Especially a best friend." His smile could literally brighten any day and it surely brightened mine.

"Well, you know what that means right?" I smirked. And he shook his head with a sheepish smile.

"We're best friends now." I nodded and smiled.

"You and Priscilla are way too alike, it's scary. Good, I don't have many girl best friends. I have to get going but come to our set tonight, okay?" he chuckled as he looked at the time on his phone.

"Were connected, I swear. When do I not come to your set, I have gone every damn day so far." I stood up with him, fully ready to go back to the bus now that I was in a good state of mind.

"Very true. So, I'll see you late then?" I nodded as we reached the exit of the venue.

"You will." I smiled.

"You know where our bus is if you need to get away for a while!" he yelled and I nodded, waving as I got to the door of the AA bus. I stepped on and was faced with all of the guys sitting in the front. I sat down and smiled.

"Good morning?" Danny said as I question.

"Great morning." I smiled and leaned back. They looked skeptical of my happiness but after talking to Chris, I was happier. I felt better to let it out. Bottling it up would have gotten me nowhere besides a mental fucking breakdown.

We sat around for a few more hours until their set time neared. I followed them out and had kept a smile on my face. James didn't look too pleased but it wasn't my problem anymore. He wanted to just stay friends, not me so it was all up to him from now on.


I did my job and left. I enjoyed the show as always but it was different. I felt like a weight had been lifted. Maybe James had realized that I was slowly burning myself out with the drama that stewed within our group of friends, mostly between him Mike and me.
I walked around for a little while after saying goodbye to the guys, I had a little while to wait until Motionless went on so I just sat around and listened to the music and took pictures as people walked by.



I spent the rest of my day hanging around with a few bands and Priscilla. It got my mind off of a lot and kept me in the good mood Chris had put me in this morning. I just had to keep this outlook up for the next three weeks and I would be all set.