Sweeter Than Summer

7 | sugar, we're going down

Rosa insisted on driving me home. Usually, I would at least try to argue, but my heart just wasn't in it. All my energy had gone into plastering on a fake smile, laughing at all of Martha's jokes, sighing during her overdramatic descriptions of her new surfer boy.

Her new surfer boy. Jackson. My Jackson. Well, he wasn't actually my possession, or anything similar to my possession, but it had just been implied, until then, that he was my guy. Wasn't that a song? "My Guy?" I swear –

"You're allowed to tell her," Rosa said, interrupting my rambling train of thought.

"I can't."

"You can. Trust me, it's going to save everyone a lot of awkwardness later. There'll be no 'running into Jackson with Martha and her realizing that you actually already know him' or 'accidentally slipping up and swooning over him in her presence.' It'll all be out in the open."

"I can't."

"January."

"Rosa."

"You have first dibs, anyway."

"First dibs doesn't mean anything," I said, reaching over to buckle my seatbelt. We were still sitting in her car, in the parking lot. "And besides, it only counts if you actually tell people you have first dibs."

"Does not," Rosa argued, "Ron didn't verbally call first dibs on Hermione, but Harry just knew. He used his common sense. And his eyes. You don't need to be a wizard for that."

"That isn't even relevant. Harry never wanted to date Hermione. You're the one who explained that to me."

"Yeah, that's right, Hermione was always like a sister to Harry." Finally, Rosa stuffed her key into the ignition. "Okay, so, I just need to think of another example. It's like ... when Jake gave up on Kylie because Curt had first dibs."

"Jake didn't give up on Kylie, he just started liking Samantha instead."

"What? No. Jake was pining for Kylie until –"

"- he realized Samantha was single," I interjected. "Again, not a valid example."

Rosa scowled, but only halfheartedly. "Me. And Carter. I have dibs on Carter, right? Please tell me everyone knows I have eternal dibs on Carter."

"Of course."

"Good, because that would suck." Rosa looked at me, quickly, before focusing again on merging into traffic. "Sorry."

"It's okay." It went quiet, and after a minute, I said softly, "It does suck."

"I'm sorry," Rosa said, and she really sounded like she was.

I pressed my face against the window, just so I couldn't see her give me sideways, sad glances. "S'okay," I mumbled into the glass, "it's not your fault."

"I'm the one who said he looked at you like he liked you. That's not an exact quote, but I know I said something along those lines. I just helped fuel your heartbreak."

"Rosa. No."

"January. Yes."

"Everyone thought he liked me. You, Poppy, Frank. And besides, I'm not even that heartbroken –"

"You're so mopey though, are you sure?"

"Positive," I said, "I'm fine, really." As if to prove this, I pulled my face from the window. "I'm happy for Martha, Jackson really likes her."

"But you're so mopey."

"Not that mopey."

"More mopey than usual."