It Didn't Have To Be This Way

Warnings are meant for something

Reality hit me like a car accident, so suddenly and out of no where with no warning, it made me realise mama was right all along “life is like a game. Play your role or get played”, the first warning she gave me.

As I sat down with no certificate and job, it made me think... I should have tried, tried a little harder.. but I didn't I gave up so easily thinking if I didn't care I wouldn't have stressed myself out and that maybe, just maybe.. things could have gotten a little better.

    Oh I wish, that it didn't have to be this way. I wish I took my mama's words and warnings seriously. My life took a sudden turn, leading me to a path I didn't hope to cross for it made me battle for my survival.

Life at school was not made for me, it was like a jungle, the zoo is better than a school, most of the students don't take their education seriously influencing others to walk the same path and as for me at some point I wasn't like them but at some I was.

I took my education seriously but my lack of discipline made my school life harder for me. Everyday my mama would motivate me, then again without any discipline it became harder for me to listen to my mama's motivation and advice but mainly it made it harder for me to take my future seriously.

By the time I realised what reality is, it was too late, I was too late, I wasted my life in school just for this day to come, this is the reality of what my mama was trying to warn me about... What my teachers tried to warn me about and what my close friends tried to warn me about.

Now that I'm sitting here outside at the park without the paper that verifies about whether or not I'm suitable to be employed, I wonder... What would have happened if I focused more on my studies and didn't give up...

     “It's been almost two years and you didn't even try to continue your studies, and no one has hired you to work for them either”, Joline spoke while sitting down to join me with a worried expression on her face of course any friend that cares for you will worry about you.

     “I know, I wish I listened to you and everyone that tried to warn me but I didn't... I got myself into a big struggle, I didn't even pass my final exams. If I just disciplined myself and focused, all this would've never happened”, I replied while still trying to take all this ‘reality’ brick, in.

As I felt the sun's warmth and the beautiful cold breeze on my skin I started to cool down... My mind started to think less while my thoughts shifted to the nature around me.

“Beautiful, isn't it? The trees, the flowers, the grass, the wind and the sun's warmth.” I continued speaking while looking at the view around me as I wish to become the nature itself but then again nature itself isn't free from Humans.

This reminded me of the second warning my mama gave me “Without your certificate, you won't be able to speak up for yourself, you won't be able to stand up for yourself and survival won't be easy.” the nature can't stand up for themselves nor speak up-- makes me sad just by thinking about it, it's not amusing at all when you barely have the power to survive.

“Ah, yes it is beautiful...” Joline replied while taking a moment to appreciate the view. “Hey, why not work at my uncle’s coffee shop for part time and continue your studies in university? I mean even tho you didn't get enough marks on your exam, you can still study for the course that accepts your final year's results.” Joline suddenly spoke with a smile on her face.

     Probably I should go with joline’s plan after all I have no interest in jobs but for my survival anything will do. “Good idea Joline, you're the best!” I replied while hoping that this would work, although I might struggle but at least I'll have food on the table.

Since then 6 months have passed by and now I'm nearly done with my course of becoming a chef, it's a struggle but once I have my course completion certificate I'm free.

“If you struggle now then you won't have to in the future but if you relax now then you'll have to struggle your way to the top in the future ” third warning given by my mother back then... I wish I had listened because whatever they warned me about, became a reality for me to deal with.

I will not take reality as a joke and I'll never ever let my future kids go down the same path as me. I cannot let them go through the struggle I went through, but now that I'm thinking about it, I wouldn't have gone through this struggle myself if only I had just taken the warnings seriously and disciplined myself with positivity... Now the only thing that runs on my mind is that “it didn't have to be this way...” but then again it was my fault.

                                           

                                          - Draining Dreams