New-found Hope

Before the Loss

*How I imagine Zara above^^^^*

"Hey Z?" my mothers calm voice comes from her room, down the hall from where i'm sitting on the couch, watching some dumb reality TV.

"Yea mom?" I shout back. I get up and head my way to her room, where she's laying in bed, still in her work uniform. She's been working overtime nearly everyday in the office to try to afford our cost of living since my dad had been arrested. It took a toll on both of us, but especially my poor mom.

"Hi sweetie, could you please run to the gas station and get me a coffee?" She wears her usual sweet smile, but for some reason there's a different look in her eye. Guilt maybe? Probably not. Maybe she just doesn't feel well. Or maybe she's on the brink of another episode about dad.

Yes that's probably it.

"Yea of course mom, I'll be back in 30!" I smile at her sweetly and grab her keys off her bedside table. As i walk out a press a kiss to her cheek and tell her I love her.

"I love you so much Z, thank you sweetie." I smile in return of her words.

As I walk out of the house and get in her car, I can't help but feel uneasy about her attitude and words. I brush it off as her being emotional about dad, which usually she likes to be alone to process her thoughts, so I'll at least give her that.

As I make it to the gas station, which is about a ten minute drive from home, I realize she never specified what kind of coffee. Sometimes she like caramel, and others she likes vanilla. The choice ends up taking a good 5 minutes, and of course, my indecisive ass just ends up grabbing both.

I walk up to the line, where there's one cashier and about 5 people in line including me. Ugh.

It's been about 20 minutes since I left when I finally get checked out and am able to leave. I make my way to the car swiftly, not trying to waste anymore time, and I head back home.

As I pull into the driveway of our one story humble home, I grab the bag and head inside.

"Mom! I'm home!" I yell, heading down the hall
"I didn't know what flavor to get so I got bo-"

*TW!!!*

I drop the bag on the hardwood floor, shattering both bottles and I stand in the doorway, frozen.

"No, no no no no, MOM!" I scream seeing my mom hanging limply from the ceiling. The chair underneath her fallen sideways on the floor.

"Mom no, no get down! Mom please!" I grip onto her lifeless body helplessly, trying everything to get her down. I feel stuck, I can barely hear my sobs and screams as the only thing I can hear is my own heartbeat.

I try everything to get her down, not wanting to accept the truth. She's gone. Somewhere in the distance I hear the drowned out sound of sirens, and I'm sure it was my nosy neighbor Kathrine who calls about any disturbance in the neighborhood.

I'm positive you could hear my screams of horror and desperation from miles away.

The front door opens as the sires get unbearingly loud, shining blue and red light in through any windows in the house.

I feel hands on me, pulling me away from my mothers lifeless body, still wearing her work clothes, with her hair tied in a tight bun.

My mom, my beautiful mother. She's hanging, she's dead. No, no this can't be real. I need to help her!

"Get off of me! I need to help my mom! This is a joke! A sick joke!" I scream until I feel my throat burn. I hate that so many people are surrounding me, touching her, like they don't care if they harm her.

"No, sweetie, she's gone, there's nothing you can do, let's go outside okay? You can't stay in here." I hear a soft voice in my ear, her hands gripping my shoulders, leading away from my mom's body.

"No, no I need my mom, I need to help her, I can't leave her" My voice sounds so weak, so defeated. I sound unrecognizable.

"Come on, we are doing all we can honey, we need to get you out of here." The sweet voice says.

I am silent as she leads me out of my home. My mothers home.

I feel numb yet I am aware of the aggressive flow of tears rushing down my face, wetting my hair and my shirt too. I can't think. I'm feeling too many emotions at once.

The nice lady sits my down on my front porch, where we sit in silence.

Practically the whole town has come to see what all the commotion is about. We live in a reserved town, where no one but the elderly die, and no big crimes are ever committed. I see the looks of pity and confusion consuming the crowd of people who all know me and my mother. Her coworkers, my classmates, their parents, my neighbors are all staring at me like I'm on display.

I feel a blanket wrap around me as I see them, rolling my mothers body out of my house. She's covered, away from the prying eyes of the town as everyone goes silent. Shocked at the truth of what is going on.

I can't breath. I need my mom.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A/N

First chapter! My heart hurts but this chapter in necessary to understand the depth of what Zara went through. Parts of her past are still unknown but we will get to that eventually!

Hope you enjoyed!!

Make sure to vote and comment any suggestions or questions you have!