Do you want to know why I cut ? Because it's a distraction . For one moment , you don't feel all the pain , the loss , the hurt . All you feel is the razor going into your skin , the blood dripping down your arm , leg , or where ever . I dont think about how alone I am , or how ugly and fat I am . I dont think about the way people talk about me behind my back . I dont think about how my family is fighting or how my friends hate me . All you think about is blood . And the addicting part ? Thats when all the hurt and pain comes back . When the cut isnt fresh and you cant feel all the sadness build up inside of you . So you have to do it again , but a little deeper so the numbness will last longer , the pain will be delayed longer . When the pain on the inside gets worse and worse , you have to make the pain on the outside equal up to it . Its all about control . You have it . You cant control the pain on this inside so you control it on the outside .
