Short Stories

The Truth

I still don't see you anymore, I'm sorry but I need your presence. Ever since that night, I don't see you as often as I need to. Is there any evidence of me doing wrong? I feel like there is a constant barrier between us who's purpose is to keep us separate. I don't like this barrier, if I could destroy it, I would. I feel that we are both lost and unhappy without each other. There's a reason why I need you more. I've lost those closest to me because I've had to grow up too fast. They all left one by one because I wasn't there for them. Three of them left without a goodbye but the fourth, I managed to be there for his. I miss them deeply. You're all I have left that stops me from going over to the dark side, trust me it's somewhere I never want to go again. You are all I need, why can't you see that? I remember  when we always spoke, it was blissful. I never regretted any word, I just wish we could have spoke more. You seem to have some kind of healing power, I know because I always feel better when I'm near you. To be honest, if it wasn't for your wise words and kind nature, I wouldn't be who I am now. You being a part of my life made me realise that I should let more people instead of shutting them out. I've always had trust issues with people because they betray me a lot. But, when I gave you my trust, you didn't betray me like the others. You took it, and turned it into a friendship, something that was meaningful. You knew when to make me happy by telling your ridiculous jokes. You mean a lot to me and I can't bear to see you hurt. That time you fell down the stairs, you said you were okay but I wasn't buying it. I'm the type of person who holds back the pain because I don't want other people's pity and I know you hate seeing me in pain. It's true friends you need when hurting, not the liars. When I had my chance to ask you, I was nervous. Honestly, I don't know why. When I sat next to you, it was awkward, I don't know why. You were preoccupied but I needed to show that I cared. I asked you if you were fine and you replied with a yes and a smile. Although, typical you, you went from a serious tone to a more joking one as you asked me if I found it funny because it was. I told you I laughed a little. It felt good to know that you weren't hurting. If you knew my pain, you would probably freak. I will agree I have grown ill, both mentally and physically. I've been like this for a good while and maybe it's time you finally knew the truth. It all started on the second day of the sixth month of that unlucky year, the time I first took the blade to my skin and I drew blood. At that point, I had, had enough of life and was ready to end it all then and there but then I remembered that I had to stay for the Thursday of that week, so that no one else would be forced to suffer the dreaded run around the track twice. If I did it, no one else would suffer. Little did I know that on that day, I got a punishment, not a reward. You must remember the 6th of that month, you were helping a lot that day. I had so little energy that day, I was relying on the energy of a banana I had for lunch. Before that, I had started to cut down my food, eating little by little which led to completely skipping meals. My parents were worried but I told them there was no point. To add to the little energy I had, the heat that day didn't help either. I watched you race about that day, constantly wishing I could help you as the nerves were eating up my insides. I stood with the girls, leaning against the fence and listening to the music echo in the air. I watched many of the events in the grounds and I watched you start some events on the track. I had one event before the dreaded track run. I did that event and achieved first place. I was so proud of myself for finally doing something right. Then came the run round the track twice. The nerves were still hungry but I had no energy left. I had used it all on my first event. You were starting this run, to this day, I wondered why you couldn't sense my fear as that's what my scent was. Then it was time for me to run, the nerves had taken over my voice. As you showed me to my starting point, I wanted to tell you that I wasn't ready. But I had no confidence. Looking forward, I sought no hope of making everyone proud. I sensed trouble and I wasn't ready. When I looked back at you, I wanted to tell you that I couldn't do it but you told me not to look at you, just face forward and listen. I obeyed but I still wasn't ready. Once you started the race, it was too late. I was running on no fuel. I was fine to start but tiredness crept over me slowly. I was aware that I was losing. I could feel everyone laughing at me, I was going to be the joke everywhere. I wanted to cry but the heat forbid me from doing so. I could feel that you were no longer proud of me. I finally finished and my knees were so weak, I would have collapsed right there. But then I heard you speak. Your wise words told me to go and hydrate otherwise I would get seriously ill. My friend took me away from you when I needed you most. I was taken from the track and onto the path where it would lead me to rest but your 'mate' came over to me to congratulate me on my run, which I lost, and hit me, not tap, but hit me twice. The pain had coursed through my body which cased me to yelp a little. The hit almost brought me to my knees but I regained my strength again. Every step I took, I grew more weak and I was struggling to breathe. I kept worrying that I was going to fall then and there but I continued on, I couldn't cause chaos. My friend helped me reach my place of rest. I held on for one second before my joints have out. I felt my face hit the floor and it was harder to breathe. I heard running then silence. I was alone and I blacked out for a few minutes. It felt like it was my time, I had done what was needed to be done, I no longer needed to live to see the result of my actions as I would live with it for the rest of my life. I heard my name. The darkness disappeared, my body was so weak. I had the urge to cry but I couldn't shed a tear. I heard my name again. I was surrounded by my friends proclaiming that they had sent for help, but their idea of help was my torture. I thought, by chance, that they had sent for you but I was incorrect. Instead, it was her. The one who had betrayed my trust when I was vulnerable. Honestly, when I heard her voice, I forced myself to run more but as I rose from the floor, I began to shake uncontrollably. Honestly, I was frightened, I feared the worse but I still couldn't shed a tear. Under the bandage on my arm, I could feel the blood trying to escape my scars, it was an unbearable sting. I was so scared, not just of the worst occurring but because with her there, there was no telling what she would do. I needed you there, I needed you to comfort me and tell me that everything was going to be fine. But you weren't there, I understand that you had better things to deal with than me. She had came down to my level but I never  looked at her. I didn't want to see the smirk across her face. She then sent my friends off to get things to help me relax and feel better. I was alone with her. Moments later my friends returned with the news of another friend in trouble, I proclaimed to help her instead of me, she was far more important than me. They all left me alone and I couldn't help but sleep. Moments later, I awoke hearing information of my friend I was told that you had went to her rescue, I was  so proud of you. I wanted to check on my friend but she told me to stay put, other people's problems come before mine. A long while later, I was taken to a place of rest where I would wait to be collected. She was about to leave when she questioned the bandage on my arm. I immediately lied to her. I couldn't tell her the truth. She betrayed me once before, I wasn't going to let it happen again. She believed the lie and left me alone. There and then, I began to cry, slowly and quietly. I needed you the most. I often feared being alone and at that point I did. I wanted to get out of there, return to the track and prove to you that, even though I done this damage to my body, I was still strong in the mind. But I couldn't. When rising, my knees shook again so I gave up. That day changed me. Now you know the truth I've kept hidden from you for years. I feel that this will change your mind about me. Am I right? Prove me wrong if I am because I know you better. You're still important to me, am I to you?