The Diary of a Depressed Girl

But Life Isn't A Book.

I walked to his house. It was 3 miles away. I couldn't take not seeing his face anymore. He opened the door, and I saw pain flash over his eyes when he looked at me. I kissed him. Never wanting that kiss to end.

I remember when we danced that May night away. He loved me, and I threw all of that away for some jerk that didn't even stay.

How could've been so stupid?

He pulls away first, from the kiss. He looks me in the eyes and says, "I love you."

But before I could tell him that I felt the same and all these days of missing him have been torture, and that I can't take this life without him, he says, "But I can't trust you again. You broke my heart. I gave you my whole fucking heart and you broke it right in two."

I was speechless. I couldn't argue with anything because it was all true.

He looked me in the eyes, "I love you, but I hate you."

I say, "Then I'll go, have a nice life."

He says, "One last time."

He kissed me like the world was ending. Like all his frustration was coming to life, like all his love and passion was right infront of me. I could see how vulnerable he was and how much this was hurting him. So I pull back and turn around. Ready to leave the only good thing I had ever known in my life.

"Please stay...."