Fizzarolli: YOU brought it up, asshole! But I bet Y/N's got a great one!
Y/N: Wha?
Fizzaroll: How's your sex life? Especially with Barb~?
Blitzo: You knew?!?
Fizzaroll: Yep. So gimme the details!
Y/N: I...well
Blitzo: I don't wanna here.
Fizzaroll: Come on, we're all adults here.
Y/N: Well. She********************************************^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^<<%~>#|<}\<|.<}\<}~~<<\}#|>>
(This conversation had been redacted.)
Blitzo and Fizzaroll watched in stunned silence. Blitzo's face fell in shock and horror, while Fizzaroll was impressed, surprised, and intrigued.
Fizzaroll: D-damn!
Blitzo: That's my sister!
Fizzaroll: And your sister is way more kinky than I'll ever be! Y/N you lucky dog!
Y/N: Barbie wants to get a trapeze installed over my bed. That and a mirror installed in the ceiling.
Striker bangs on their cage.
Striker: WOULD YOU THREE SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY?! Bicker like a couple of teen skanks...
Striker steps down onto some boxes, then leans towards their cage.
Striker: As far as I'm concerned, you two are BOTH embarrassments to our kind for meddlin' with blue-bloods to begin with. But at least loud-mouth here has the sense to only fuck his rich bitch, instead of bein' a little purse dog.
Blitzo: Oh, great. The fuckin' supremacist is on my side, wonderful.
Fizzarolli: Neither of you filth bags know what you're even talkin' about. If you think you're superior to ANYONE, then you're no better than any royal—
Striker grows agitated at Fizzarolli's words. Before he can continue, he grabs Fizz by the neck to stop him from talking.
Striker: DON'T. You. Dare... Finish that sentence, clown...
Crimson: HEY! Hick-for-hire! I said watch 'em, not fuck 'em. Keep ya hands off the merchandise!
Striker frowns at Fizzarolli one more time, squeezing his neck before jumping off the cage.
Fizzarolli: Eaugh! Ever heard of mouthwash?! FUCK FAAAACCCE!
Y/N: What did his breath smell like?
Fizzaroll: Mix of fish, hot air, and old meat.
———
Back to Asmodeus, looking frustrated and tired. He is holding the lawyer's contract for Crimson's ransom.
Asmodeus: Can I just sign it already? Like, can we move this along?
Crimson's lawyer shrugs, and gives him a pen. Stolas suspects that the lawyer being fine with this could mean something's off.
Stolas: Sire, you need to know the contents of this contract, you can't just sign it. A deal made with a Sin like yourself would be everlastingly binding... Perhaps I can look it over, I'm a fast reader. (mumbles through contract) Oh! Hmmm... This is a contract giving Crimson all of Ozzie's factory assets. And, giving him permission to use Fizzarolli's head for a wall decoration.
Asmodeus grows outraged and rips the contract out of Stolas' hands.
Asmodeus: WAIT, WHAT?!
Greed Lawyer: Juuuust making sure you're paying attention! (nervous laugh) Here's the real contract.
YOU ARE READING
Helluva Guy (Helluva Boss x Autisic reader.)
AdventureBlitz, a classic demon Imp, sets out to run his own small assassin business with his weapons specialist Moxxie, his bruiser Millie, and his receptionist hellhound Loona. Together, they attempt to survive each other while running a start-up in Hell.
