Helluva Guy (Helluva Boss x Autisic reader.)

Oops

Blitzo: Oh, chill out, jester. Christ on a stick, it's like you've never been tied up before!

Fizzarolli: Sure, but not by a bunch of psychos! A guy who shouldn't even be here! And a piece of shit!

Blitzo: Am I...? Okay, am I the psycho or the piece of shit?

Fizzarolli: Both!

Blitzo: Yeah, that checks.

Y/N panted and looked like he was going to cry.

Blitzo: Hey, Buddy. It's ok. We'll get out of this. I promise. Have I ever steered you wrong before?

Y/N thoughts: Yes. Many times.

Y/N: Well-

Blitzo: Don't answer that. Just...count the number of thugs and boxes here.

Y/N: Ok.

Fizzarolli watched and was surprised by how Blitzo seem to actually care about Y/N's well being. But didn't want to say anything.

Fizzarolli: How is this happening?! I was just supposed to grab some gas station milk and rehearse some juggling...!

Blitzo: Oh, relax, I'm sure your big royal chicken ain't gonna let anything happen to his peppy lil' fuckdoll.

Fizzarolli gets frustrated, and sits up straight to scoot in front of Blitzo.

Fizzarolli: Ohh, playin' that card, huh? Ok... What about you? Seems your tastes have gotten more... "regal", lately. Heheh...

Blitzo: Yeah, well unlike you, I fuck who I want, when I want. I'm not gonna be tied down to some big blue-blood asshole.

Fizzarolli: You could've fooled me the way Princey was cozying up to you at Ozzie's.

Blitzo: Hey! Stolas only cares about having a rugged peasant raw-dog him into his mattress, it's nothing... y'know...

Fizzarolli gives him a look, knowing that he's in denial.

Blitzo: It's nothing else...

Fizzarolli: Then why were you even there?

Blitzo: OTHER very important reasons, of course!

Fizzarolli: Whatever, I don't actually care.

Blitzo: I mean Stolas is just a loud, thirsty bitch who loves feelin' the thrill of getting dicked by the lower class. It's a novelty to him.

Fizzarolli: ...Literally just said I don't care.

Blitzo: And then, he'll call me to see how my day was! And he'll pretend to care about me, and comment on my photos, and LAUGH AT MY JOKES—

Fizzarolli: Oh! Well that's "definitely" your clue right there that it's all bullshit.

Blitzo: I KNOW, RIGHT?

Fizzarolli rolls his eyes, due to Blitzo not getting his obvious sarcasm.

Blitzo: He's just a fake, privileged asshole!

Fizzarolli: Sounds like you just hate him for bein' a prince. Because no one, and I mean no one pretends to care that much just for a cheap lay.

Blitzo: Point is, royal demons don't give a shit about guys like us. They're all the fuckin' same.

Fizzarolli: That's not...! A-always true... But, I guess you're right. They can't all be the same if some have taste, and some wanna fuck you.

Blitzo: Can we talk about something other than my sex life? Satan's taint, is fucking that Lust guy make this what you're all about now?!