Helluva Guy (Helluva Boss x Autisic reader.)

Oops

Asmodeus groans, sitting alone at his desk, missing Fizzarolli. He checks his watch,

Asmodeus: Damn. Those new cenobites of Pinheads should be here by now.

———
The bus stood still in traffic in the Sloth ring.

???: I blame you for this.

???: What did I do?!
———
Asmodeus looked at the door as Verosika arrived, looking worried.

Asmodeus: Something wrong?

Verosika: Ya. I'm just checking to see if Y/N's called you. He was supposed to meet me here several minutes ago and he hasn't arrived. And you know how he like to be on time.

Asmodeus: Hey, everyone had their off days even their not on time. He's probably meeting up with his new cenobite somewhere else.

He looks at a painting of them together. Lightning strikes, as Fizzarolli's eyes strangely glow blue. Asmodeus is startled, both by the lightning, and his watch, signaling an alarm for his noon meeting with Stolas. We then cut to Stolas sitting on a couch with a nervous looking Octavia in the waiting room, until Asmodeus finally opens his doors.

Asmodeus: Stolas! Hey there, birdy babe. Haven't seen you since you crashed my club, how you been? *giggles* Still gettin' yo' kink on with that feisty imp?

Stolas: Aha. Well, um, that's actually what I'm here about. You see, I, um... seem to have found myself with... feelings for him. And I'm not sure if it's a mutual thing.

Asmodeus grows unamused, assuming he's looking for something to immorally force Blitzo to love him.

Asmodeus: Well, I can tell ya, if you're looking for a love potion, you came to the wrong fucking guy. I don't fuck with that artificial bullshit! Lust shouldn't be about force... It's an ART! To be earned, and enjoyed. It's all about that journey to Pleasure Town... You feel me? (giggles)

Octavia: So you don't know what's going on with the Vees?

Asmodeus: The who now?

Octavia whispered to him. Asmodeus's how does why did in one of his eyes even twitches a little

Asmodeus: As much as I want to stop that here and now. I can't. I'm not exactly allowed to mess with other realms. Besides, Lucifer still hates m after I insulted him and his wife and then his daughter and her relationship.

Verosika: Ya, how did Lucifer take it?

Asmodeus's face fell.

———

Flashback.

Asmodeus is patching up a beaten Fizzarolli. Just in the wall shatters, and both are punched and thrown to a wall.

Lucifer: OZZIE!!!!!

Asmodeus: I can explain everything!

———

Asmodeus: I...don't think I'm welcome in Pride, for at least seven...years...

As he speaks he picks up two cereals and/or candies shaped like a penis and lips, and shoves the penis through the lips, demonstrating his point. He takes the penis out of the lips and lifts it to where we can see a flustered Stolas through the mouth.

Stolas: Oh! No! Never, never that! I just, you see...

While Stolas is speaking, Asmodeus decides to devour his whole bowl of various sex-shaped cereals/candy.

Stolas: This imp has a business he runs. He needs to access the mortal realm to carry out his work. I know your demons are some of the only ones who can traverse freely and legally. I was wondering if you could assist me in... finding a way he could too?